NOT-SO-BREAKING NEWS!!!

During an amateur soccer game in Brazil, a 30-year old soccer player punched a ref in the face when he was shown a red card, which is supposed to result in expulsion. The twenty year old referee responded by stabbing him in the chest, because Brazil and stuff. The player was rushed to the hospital, where he died from his wounds. The fans and family of the deceased player, who had tied up the referee, proceeded to stone him to death, dismembered him, and stuck his fucking head on a stake, all in an over-the-top attempt to make Americans care about soccer.

Americans would be more surprised if Ray Lewis hadn’t already beat the Brazilians to it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s