DEATHMATCH-Episode 2: Bad Meets Evil (Part 1 of 3)- The Injustice League

It’s taken me ten months to figure out what I want to do for episode 2. And three of those months were spent just figuring out what ironic gif to use for my featured image.

Wow, when I say “I’m not promising anything.” I really mean that I’m not promising anything, huh?

Anyway, in between studying, contemplating suicide and occasionally sleeping, I was somehow able to workshop the next installment of my DeathMatch series, which has been on hiatus since December of last year, when I had the villains from the TarantinoVerse clash that left only one man/woman standing. Character profiles can be found here while the actual fight can be found here.

So, who are the characters who will bloody and slaughter themselves on the whim of a bored teenage nerd? Well, considering that it’s Halloween, and we’re fast approaching 2016, the year in which Marvel and DC will finally duke it out for box office supremacy (Which is great. Don’t give me the “superhero movies are dying” bullshit. If that was gonna happen, it would’ve happened by now), I thought I would have a fight between some of the best villains that both comic companies have to offer. However, to pump up the character count, I’ve decided to make the fight between two seven-person teams of super villains: the Injustice League from DC Comics, and the Dark Avengers from Marvel.

Because comic book companies have absolutely NO idea how to name things subtly.

This week and the next will be devoted to profiling the two teams of fighters, who will each have their equivalent on the other team as their adversary. After each fighter has dispatched their opponent (In the most brutal way possible for the written word), I’ll take a look at the results and decide which team would win in a brawl. However, in the two (Weekly???) posts before the actual fight (Including this post) I’ll take some time to profile both teams, so you don’t need to look up information from some of the lesser-known characters…

…Yeah, that’s about it! Let’s get into reviewing the first team of evildoers: the Injustice League from the Forever Evil storyline!

Injustice League

The one on the right is Black Manta. Yes, we’re supposed to take him seriously.

First appearance: Forever Evil #3

Origin: During a particularly confusing time for Earth’s Heroes (Known as the Trinity War) Earth is invaded by a supervillain team from an alternate universe known as the Crime Syndicate, who are essentially evil, sociopathic versions of the Justice League. They immediately get to work, taking out the three weakened Justice League teams by imprisoning them inside Firestorm (Yeah, I dunno) and teaming up with an enormous cabal of villains known only as the Secret Society.

These maniacs take over the world with little-to-no resistance and with no heroes to turn to, humanity must turn to its greatest hope: a group of murderous assholes with saviour complexes led by Lex Luthor!

Lex Luthor (Leader)

The big guy? we’ll get to him later.

First appearance: Action Comics #23 (April 1940)

Villain for: Superman

DeathMatch Opponent: Iron Patriot

Origin: An arrogant, sadistic, small town boy with enormous ambitions, Alexander Luthor moved away from Kansas as an adult to the metropolis of, uh, Metropolis and, thanks to his ruthlessness and powerful intellect,  he became one of the most powerful people in the city through his corporation, LexCorp. Lex relentlessly pursued more and more wealth and domination no matter who got in the way through whatever means necessary, whether that be through intimidation, robbery or straight-up murder.

When a certain superpowered Boy Scout arrived in Metropolis, Luthor immediately distrusted him, claiming that if humanity started relying on Superman, we would become weaker overall as a species. Of course, the fact that he’s a cruel jerkass with a Saviour Complex  didn’t exactly help. Regardless, one of Comicdom’s most enduring rivalries was formed.

 Equipment: Luthor generally doesn’t like to do any of his dirty work, preferring to stay behind the scenes, pulling the strings. However, when he feels like he needs to get personally involved, his weapon of choice is a goddamned War Suit designed by goddamned Darkseid.

Questionable colour choice there, bud.

Designed for the purpose of taking down You-Know-Who by freaking Darkseid, the War Suit provides Lex with superhuman strength (Enough to hold its own against Superman), flight, and a friggin’ force field, which lets him leave his self-absorbed face unprotected. As if that shit wasn’t enough, the suit can also fire Kryptonite energy beams, produce an ax made of Kryptonite energy, and comes equipped with flamethrowers, because why the hell not?

But wait! There’s even fucking more!

Lex has satellites positioned all around the globe for the purpose of, when necessary, WIPING PEOPLE OFF OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH WITH SPACE LASERS.

Ronald Reagan would be proud.

Strengths: While he’s not exactly a limber character, Luthor’s Warsuit provides him with enough strength and defense to both take multiple hits and bludgeon any opponents into submission. The fact that he is easily one of the smartest human beings in the DC Universe doesn’t exactly hurt, either. Also Space Lasers.

Weaknesses: As mentioned, while his Warsuit apparently lets him fly, it also impedes his speed. His arrogance and pigheadedness can sometimes get into the way of his success (Such as when he insisted that, even with evidence to the contrary, that Clark Kent wa not Superman, because he scoffed at the notion that Superman would ever want to appear normal). Perhaps most glaringly, his Warsuit is more specifically designed to take down Superman than anything, what with all the kryptonite weapons and such, and could leave him prone to powerful, non-Kryptonian foes.

“We stopped trying to solve our own problems and instead looked up into the sky… staring at those bright colors. That’s why the world is doomed.”

-Lex Luthor, Forever Evil #1

Leonard Snart/Captain Cold

Such a badass costume design for a villain with such a stupid name.

First appearance: Showcase #8 (June 1957)

Villain for: Flash

Deathmatch Opponent: “Spider-Man”

Origin: The unfortunately named Leonard Snart grew up in an abusive household, where his only respite from his father’s drunken beatings was the ice cream truck his grandpa took him to, the only place he felt safe. Eventually running away from home and turning to a life of crime, Snart eventually got put away by the Flash. Looking for a way to counteract Flash’s speed, Snart, a gifted mechanical mind, apparently (Despite being a high school dropout. I dunno) created his iconic (???) cold gun,  which does exactly what it sounds like it does.

The newly-christened “Captain Cold” went on to become one of the more prolific, and uncommonly non-murderous, Flash villains, forming an alliance of thieves and Flash villains called the Rogues and becoming, without a doubt, DC’s second or third best-known ice-based villains.

Equipment: Snart’s signature piece of gear is his cold gun. Despite outward appearances, this contraption doesn’t merely shoot ice. That would be silly. Instead, the gun actually slows the atoms of its target to a halt, immobilizing them and causing said target to become incredibly cold. His strange-looking goggles help protect his eyes from the flashes of energy that the gun produces when used.

Strengths: For essentially being a glorified street tough, Snart sure has a pretty good brain on him, having created an extremely advanced piece of weaponry in the Cold Gun, and having full knowledge of how to use it. It’s not just mechanical prowess either, as he has a good tactical mind, and has been a an effective leader of a supervillain group, the Rogues.

Weaknesses: While he is in good physical shape, there really isn’t much to Captain Cold once you get past his powers.

 “[You’re] a kid who wasn’t out to hurt anyone. Sure, you’ve done your fair share of armed robbery, grand theft, destruction of property, kidnapping… But you never wanted to start a new ice age or turn people into popsicles.”

-Jake Shell (Snart’s probation officer), Justice League #30

                                                             Slade Wilson/Deathstroke

Deadpool Beta.

First appearance: New Teen Titans #2 (December 1980)

Villain for: Teen Titans, Green Arrow, Batman

DeathMatch Opponent: “Hawkeye”

Origins: When Slade Wilson was sixteen years old, he lied about his age and joined the U.S. Army, because as we all know, there is no demographic on this planet more willing to die for their country than teenaged American boys.

“Semper fi, motherfucker!!!”

Wilson excelled in the army, quickly moving up to the position of Major, and in probably one of the most unlikely meet-cutes known to mankind, met his future wife, Captain Adeline Kane. If you think this love story ends in anything other than tragedy than congratulations! You’ve clearly never read a comic book before!

Within a year, Slade became a master of multiple forms of combat and guerilla warfare, and was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. Six months after his promotion, he married Adeline, and they later had two kids, Grant and Joey.

Some time later, Wilson volunteered for a medical experiment designed to stimulate his adrenal gland in the hopes of increasing his ability to resist truth serums. Because shit like this never works out as planned, Slade fell into a coma upon completion of the treatment. He wasn’t out for long, though and when he woke up, he found that he could now think nine times faster than the average schmuck, and had developed levels of strength, speed and durability that would put any Olympic athlete to shame, as well as a healing factor and enhanced senses. When the army denied his request for reinstatement (Because apparently, the army is composed of just the most fucking idiotic people), Slade became a world famous safari hunter by day, but also moonlighted as a world-renowned assassin, Deathstroke the Terminator.

When a group of fellow mercenaries decided to get even with Slade, they broke into his mansion and kidnapped Joey. Forced to reveal his double-life as Deathstroke to Adeline, Slade went after the mercenaries and was able to rescue his son. Unfortunately, Joey’s vocal cords were slit in the process, rendering him mute. The combination of having a secret assassin for a husband and having her son’s throat get cut as a result of Slade’s career caused Adeline to lash out at Slade, and she shot him in the head, destroying his right eye. Deciding that maybe this was the best possible time to flee his rageful wife, Slade Wilson devoted himself to assassinating people full-time and has enjoyed increased popularity in DC Comics ever since, debuting as a major villain (And part-time ally) of the Teen Titans, Batman and more recently, Green Arrow (Thanks in big part to the Arrow TV show).

Equipment: As would be beneficial for any mercenary, Deathstroke always has a boatload of weapons on him. More often than not, he carries an assault rifle of some sort on his person, an energy lance that fires concussive energy blasts, and a “super bomb”, which is essentially a flash grenade with bits of kryptonite inside. As you’re assuming right now, yes, this is a weapon meant to take down Superman.

His favourite weapon, though, is his Promethium broadsword. All you really need to know is that it’s essentially a katana made out of one of those bullshit metals that are stronger than titanium (It does bear mentioning that promethium is an element that exists, it’s just used for a completely different reason).

Speaking of which, his armour is made of Nth, a metal from the planet Thanagar, the home of Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Surprisingly lightweight, Nth metal provides Deathstroke with excellent defense as well as augmenting his already astounding physical abilities.

Though even without armour, he could probably overpower opponents through badass death sneers.

Strengths: Deathstroke is nothing short of a tactical genius, easily on the level of, if not superior to Batman. Even without his superhuman enhancements, Deathstroke would easily rank among the best hand-to-hand in the DC Universe along with (Again) Batman, Nightwing and Lady Shiva.

With his enhancements though, he’s easily the strongest of them all in terms of sheer combat ability. Shit, he’s even agile enough to elude fucking Superman and can see at a goddamned subatomic level. And his healing factor is near-Wolverine level, as his aging is slowed (He’s about eighty, but looks to be in his fifties) and he has had his brains shot out, only to come back to life hours later. That;’s just silly.

Weakness: When in extreme pain, Deathstroke can go into a bloodthirsty rage that makes him stronger, at the expense of his own humanity. Yes, this is what passes for a weakness with this beast of a man.

“I am the thing that keeps you up at night. The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest. And neither will you.”

-Slade, Teen Titans

Thaal Sinestro

That’s Power Ring there at the bottom, by the way. Look him up if you want, but his backstory is fairly disturbing.

First appearance: Green Lantern #7 (August 1961)

Villain for: Green Lantern

DeathMatch Opponent: “Ms. Marvel”

Origins: Anthropologist Thaal Sinestro of the planet Korugar was chosen to be a Green Lantern (Think Space Cop) by the Guardians of the Universe for his honourable conduct and fearlessness in combat. Under his protection, Sector 1417 became one of the safest in the universe, and the Guardians trusted him to train many rookie Lanterns, including Hal Jordan, the successor to his late best friend and brother-in-law, Abin Sur. While the two became fast friends, Jordan was horrified when he learned that Sinestro had imposed a draconian personality cult on his home planet of Korugar. The two had a falling-out that resulted in Sinestro being imprisoned and swearing revenge on Jordan and the Guardians.

To counter the Green Lantern’s Green Power Rings of Willpower, Sinestro had a Yellow Power Ring forged, which drew upon not Willpower, but Fear. Setting out to make life miserable for Jordan, Sinestro eventually formed his own Lantern Corps, the Sinestro Corps.

Equipment: The only piece of equipment that Sinestro really needs is his Yellow Power Ring, which can create whatever Sinestro can imagine, from concussive energy blasts to force fields. It can also help him manipulate and manifest other people’s deepest fears, allow him to phase through solid objects, heal himself, fly, and turn goddamn invisible, because of course it can.

However, the Power Ring’s energy has a limit, and when drained, it requires a recharge, which is done by holding the ring up to a Wellow Power Battery and reciting the Sinestro Corps oath.

Strengths: Dude, did you read  what the Power Ring can do?

Even without the Power Ring, Sinestro is a master of manipulating people’s fears, and possesses a genius-level intellect, and an ego to go with it.

Weaknesses: When you get beyond the Power Ring, there isn’t much to Sinestro besides being a super-smart, manipulative egomaniac. That is, is you were to pit him against a well-trained human being, he might give you a hard time (As he does know some basic combat techniques), but he wouldn’t be that much trouble.

“In Blackest day, In Brightest night, beware your fears made into light. Let those who try to stop what’s right burn like his power – Sinestro’s might!”

-Sinestro Corps Oath

Bizarro

….Awww…..

First appearance: Superboy #68

Villain for: Superman

DeathMatch Opponent: Ares

Origin: When Lex Luthor decided to create his Pet Clone of Superman, he did so through flexing his Mad Scientist. Abducting a teenager named Bobby, Lex spliced human DNA and DNA from the Man of Steel himself and injected the result into Bobby. The result was a failure (Subbed “Subject B-Zero.” Get it?), and Luthor destroyed the clone, but took samples and tried the experiment again.

When the Crime Syndicate invaded Earth and incapacitated the Justice Leagues, they instigated a global power outage in order to easily take over the planet. Lex Luthor, realizing that he needed somebody comparable to Superman to take back the planet, decided to revive the new Subject B-Zero. Unfortunately, the power cut had caused the machinery taking care of B-Zero to fail, resulting in a very imperfect clone of Superman, aesthetically, mentally and practically. Showing extreme loyalty to Luthor from the start of its life, B-Zero  named himself “Bizarro” (He took that name upon not realising that Luthor was insulting him) and dedicated itself to presenting its jerkass daddy.

Equipment: N/A

Strengths: Since Bizarro is a clone of Superman, one would assume that his skillsets are similar to those of the Man of Tomorrow, and one would be right. While he’s not as strong as Superman, he possesses comparable speed, both on land and in flight. Bizarro is invulnerable to every known form of physical  force, and he has no need for rest or sustenance.

True to his classic power set, Bizarro also possesses flame breath (As opposed to Superman’s freeze breath) and freeze vision (As opposed to Superman’s heat vision). Seeing as he’s Superman Lite, what could possibly-

Oh. Oh no.

Weaknesses: Bizarro is stupid. Like, REALLY stupid. He had barely developed the ability to speak at the end of the Forever Evil arc, and is single-minded in his love and devotion to Lex Luthor. Also, while he can’t perceive pain and can’t be injured, his body can be worn down by consistent pressure, which isn’t good when he is incapable of realizing when he’s getting his ass kicked.

Oh my god, that’s fucking adorable.

Teth-Adam/Black Adam

Also known as: The Rock in 2019. I’m so fucking excited.

First appearance: The Marvel Family #1 (December 1945)

Villain for: Shazam

DeathMatch Opponent: Sentry

Origin: Teth Adam was born a slave in Kahndaq, an African country located in between Jordan and Egypt. His family nearly exterminated by the tyrannical rulers of Kahndaq, his only relation left was his nephew, Aman. After the two of them escaped from slavery, they found themselves at the Rock of Eternity, where the Wizard Shazam declared Aman to be pure of heart, and therefore worthy of the role of being the Wizard’s Champion. Bestowed with superhuman powers, magical in their origin, Aman shared his power with his uncle, who encouraged him to use his power to destroy the dictators who had caused them unimaginable pain. Aman, on the other hand, just wanted to stop the bloodshed through nonviolent means. Anticipating the failure of this plan, Adam killed his nephew for what he believed to be the Greater Good-

“The Greater Good…”

-and went about murdering the dictators and taking control of Kahndaq. After being sealed away by the Wizard, Black Adam remained incapacitated until he was awakened in the present-day.

Equipment: N/A

Strengths: Through the Wizard’s empowerment, Black Adam gained a metric shit-tonne of powers that I’d rather just list in bullet-point form, all things being equal.

  • A healing factor
  • Photographic memory
  • Magic resistance
  • Superhuman intellect
  • Strategical genius
  • Flight
  • Healing
  • Superhuman speed, agility, stamina, reflexes and strength
  • Immortality

Weaknesses: Arrogance. Hubris is the downfall of man, yadda yadda yadda.

“SHAZAM!!!”

-Black Adam. Constantly.

David/Black Manta

Actually, that is kinda intimidating.

First appearance: Aquaman #35 (September 1967)

Villain for: Aquaman

DeathMatch Opponent: “Wolverine”

Origin: Very little is known about the man known as Black Manta except that his father was accidentally killed by Aquaman when Aquaman was trying to avenge HIS father, who had been killed by Black Manta. Small world!

Dedicating himself to avenging his father, Black Manta became an emotionless killing machine, murdering Aquaman’s allies to get to Aquaman. In fact, the only reason he joins the Injustice League is because he wants to kill Ultraman when it looked like Aquaman had died, as he had wanted to kill Aquaman himself (And also, because Ultraman had destroyed his father’s grave in a flood).

Equipment: His suit is engineered so that he retains his abilities underwater. It also helps him acclimate to the atmosphere around him. He also wields twin knives to assist in close-range combat.

Strengths; While he doesn’t have any superhuman abilities, at least in the current canon, Black Manta’s hand-to-hand combat skills are such that he is able to go toe-to-toe with Aquaman. He is also highly intelligent, albeit not a genius.

Weaknesses: Black Manta isn’t anything special when it comes to actual abilities, and while he is intelligent, he can be single-minded and obtuse, focusing only on murdering his nemesis, Aquaman.

“The only thing I want is the death of Aquaman.”

-Black Manta

Continued in Part 2…

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Quote of the Day- October 28, 2015

“Fantasy isn’t just a jolly escape: It’s an escape, but into something far more extreme than reality, or normality. It’s where things are more beautiful and more wondrous and more terrifying. You move into a world of conflicting extremes.”

Terry Gilliam

Heh. He said “Jolly.”

I’m Still Alive

 It has been fourteen goddamn days since my last post. And that was just a Quote of the Day. You have to October 14th since my last post that I had to put actual thought into.

There are a few reasons for my negligence. Let’s list them all! Lists are fun!

  1. The Toronto Blue Jays made the playoffs for the first time in my lifetime. As my Twitter feed will attest, watching that on TV has taken up a good chunk of my time. They just got eliminated, so that’s that, I guess (I hope the KC Royals have their fucking knees broken).
  2. At the beginning of October, school turned the intensity from “6” to “Fuck you, shithead, kiss your free time goodbye”.
  3. When I did try to write, it didn’t come out great. I tried writing a Round-Up at the end of September. It came out badly, so I scrapped it. I spent eons workshopping a new DeathMatch and flip-flopping on my decisions. I also tried writing a review of Beasts of No Nation, but again, it didn’t come out great. That’ll be on a Round-up, I expect.
  4. I’m just plain lazy. The other stuff didn’t help, though.

Now that the worst seems to be over, I’m working on some new stuff that should put me back on top of things once again. These include:

  1. The first actual Jessica Jones trailer dropped, so my “Who the F*** is That?!?!” series will soon come out of its two-month long hiatus. As more trailers for Captain America: Civil War, Batman v Superman and Daredevil season 2 come out, there’ll be more of that too.
  2. A new comic-centric DeathMatch should be kicking off sooner rather than later, so look out for that.
  3. Now that Oscar season is just around the corner, I’m gonna start looking for more of “those” types of movies, to put it glibly. Hopefully, my wallet holds up, but we’ll see.
  4. I’ll have one giant Round-up for September and October, because I’m a lunatic.
  5. I have a few more awards I was nominated for, but they’re not really my priority right now. Thanks a lot to Bookidote for the nominations, though!
  6. A fiction thing that I’m working on that I think has the potential to turn out really excellent.

That’s all for today. I’m not promising anything, but there should be new content out by Monday. Should be.

G’night, all.

Quote of the Day- October 10, 2015

1492: As children, we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. 

Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat and kill them. 

-Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

Christopher Colombus, seen here in his true form.

The Martian (Movie Review)

“Sailors, fighting in the dance hall. Oh man, look at those cavemen go…”

It’s kind of an atrocity that “Life on Mars” wasn’t played once during the movie. “Starman” was though, so I suppose that’s something.

The Martian

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Produced by: Simon Kinberg, Ridley Scott, Michael Schaefer, Aditya Sood, Mark Huffam

Screenplay by: Drew Goddard

Based on: The Martian by Andy Weir

Genres: Science fiction, drama

Starring: Matt Damon, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Michael Pena, Kate Mara, Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie

Plot: In the (Hopefully not-so) distant future, NASA has put people on Mars.

And crackpot conspiracy nuts are undoubtedly denying it up and down.

So, who are the lucky bastards who get to leave everybody and everything that they know and love on a whole different planet a hundred trillion miles away (Or whatever the hell the exact measurements are)? Well, specifically, they’re scientists tasked with learning as much as possible about Marvin’s home turf.

Unfortunately, Marvin’s scenes had to be cut from the movie due to lack of cohesiveness. Look for them on the director’s cut!

One of these expeditions, Ares III, is forced to abort their mission because of a storm, and unfortunately, one of the crew members, Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is killed by debris during the evacuation….

… Or is he?…

… I mean, obviously, he survives, because otherwise, we wouldn’t have a premise for the movie. I mean, we could have one focusing on the guilt the other crew members feel about leaving him dead on- ah, fuck that, I’m getting off track.

Watney survives, and eventually makes contact with NASA, but since it takes a shit-tonne of time to get from Earth to Mars, Mark can’t count on help arriving anytime soon, and must find a way to survive on the Red Planet as the good folks at NASA work to bring him home.

Truth be told, I’ve never been a huge fan of Ridley Scott’s. Yeah, I know that Blade RunnerAlien and Thelma & Louise are all great, and Gladiator is one of my favourite movies, but if you look at his filmography as a whole. there’s a lot of crappy stuff in there. His last couple of movies especially haven’t been kind to his reputation.

In fact, Ridley Scott was the one aspect of The Martian that was making me consider going to see Sicario instead. The near-universal acclaim that The Martian is getting swayed me back into its’ corner, though.

Good thing it did too, because The Martian is absolutely one of my favourite movies of 2015 so far.

This movie will make you want to quadruple NASA’s budget.

One can’t exactly make a movie where 50% of the action takes place in space, have it look like shit, and still come out of it with arms raised in a victory pose. Thankfully, like the the other major space movies of recent years (Gravity and Interstellar), this movie promises to show us outer space (Specifically Mars, obviously) and it delivers in spades. It maybe doesn’t reach the level of the other two movies in terms of pure CGI goodness, but the visual effects are still top-notch, and the beautiful cinematography and steady direction don’t hurt either. What it piles on top of the effects and cinematography though, is what really makes the movie for me. Specifically, the awesome, involving story from Drew Goddard (And I suppose Andy Reid’s novel, which I haven’t read, also deserves praise), of Cabin in the Woods fame. The dialogue and banter is surprisingly buoyant humorous, something one wouldn’t expect from subject matter like this.

Obviously, the movie makes a point to show the isolation and loneliness that Watney is feeling throughout, because holy shit, how could it not, but it also makes a point to have a sense of humour about itself, and not make the audience wallow in a sense of despair. Aside from the surprisingly good, solid, mood-lightening humour, the main character’s infectious optimism is such a welcome touch. It would have been so easy to have Watney sulk around in a haze of self-pity throughout the runtime, only having breakthroughs when it conveniences the plot. What he actually does is a million times more entertaining to watch, and what he does is attack every problem with such an unrelenting sense of positivity that makes you root for the guy to get home that much more. If life handed him lemons, he would not only make lemonade, he could probably somehow make Fireball.

No, university’s treating me fine. Why do you ask?

Of course, also to be thanked for Watney’s incredible likability is Matt Damon’s performance, which is great. , because he’s Matt Fucking Damon, and he’s great. However, lost in the fact that Damon is the one with his face plastered on all the publicity is the fact that the cast assembled for The Martian is one to be reckoned with. Jessica Chastain doesn’t have as much to do as she did in Interstellar, but she’s still great at what she does, and she shows it here. Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jeff Daniels, Kristen Wiig and Sean Bean are all A+ as the dedicated, underfunded (AHEM) folks at NASA, and Kate Mara, Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie and Michael Pena all have excellent chemistry with each other and Matt Damon as the crew members of ARES III. Somebody I was really surprised and happy to see appears in the middle of the movie, but I won’t say who it is to preserve the surprise.

It’s kind of like Matt Damon in Interstellar. Except, y’know, good.

The Martian is one of those movies  where it really takes a lot of effort to find any flaws whatsoever, but if I had to nitpick, I would have to say that, as welcome as Watney’s optimism is, it can skew a bit on the unrealistic side at times. That said, the movie does make a point to frequently show his discouragement with the situation, so I guess that argument’s pretty much moot.

I dunno, would anybody have a problem with me labelling it as the closest possible thing to a perfect movie? Because that’s pretty much all there is to it.

Overall: Excellent visuals, terrific performances and a cheerful sense of humour and positivity make The Martian one of the best movies of the year.

Rating: 9.5/10

Now, who else can’t wait for Prometheus 2!?!?