Paris, je t’aime (Movie Review)

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

I have a confession to make. I’m not that proud of it, but I feel like I need to own up to it if I ever want a chance at a happy, productive life.

As a general rule, I’m extremely uninterested in watching non-American movies.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a xenophobe. Some of my best friends are non-American (Me, for example). And I’m not saying that all foreign movies are bad either. I grew up with Spanish-language movies (Of which there are many great ones) and, being Canadian, I’ve seen and enjoyed my fair share of Canadian movies. Foreign movies like Hot Fuzz, In Bruges and Pan’s Labyrinth should all be mandatory viewing in elementary schools the world over, in my opinion.

LSD-fueled terror is essential to any grade schoolers’ education.

Now that I think of it, it might actually be more appropriate to correct my confession: I don’t necessarily dislike foreign films, but I’m usually wary of movies from mainland Europe, mainly because of the darker, more introspective and, dare I say, pseudo-intellectual style that these movies tend to have. Look, I get that not every movie can be a goddamn Wes Anderson film, but does that really mean we have to sign off on A Serbian Film?

I mean shit, I know that it’s extremely prejudiced and ignorant of me to assume that an entire continent’s worth of film production resembles Cannibal Holocaust, but I still can’t help giving these movies a wide berth. That’s why I decided to review Paris, je t’aime, (Paris, I Love You) a 2006 French anthology film, to kind of ease myself into European movies.

As it turns out, it really wasn’t that far from my comfort  zone (And really, why the hell would it be?) but I figured it was still worth reviewing.
 Paris, je t’aime 

 Directed by: Bruno Podalydès, Paul Mayeda Berges, Gurinder Chadha, Gus  Van Sant, Joel and Ethan Coen, Walter Salles, Daniela Thomas, Christopher  Doyle, Isabel Coixet, Nobuhiro Suwa, Sylvain Chomet, Alfonso Cuarón,  Olivier Assayas, Oliver Schmitz, Richard LaGravenese, Vincenzo Natali, Wes  Craven, Tom Tykwer, Frédéric Auburtin, Gérard Depardieu, Alexander Payne

 Produced by: Emmanuel Benbihy, Claudie Ossard

 Written by: The aforementioned directors, Emmanuel Benbihy, Rain Kathy Li, Gabrielle Keng Peralta, Gena Rowlands, Nadine Eid

Genres: Mainly Romance, Comedy, Drama

 Starring: Bruno Podalydès, Florence Muller, Cyril Descours, Leïla Bekhti,  Gaspard Ulliel, Elias McConnell, Marianne Faithfull, Steve Buscemi, Axel Kiener, Julie Bataille, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Barbet Schroeder, Li Xin, Leonor Watling, Sergio Castellitto, Miranda Richardson, Javier Camara, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Martin Combes, Paul Putner, Yolande Moreau, Nick Nolte, Ludivine Sagnier, Maggie Gylenhaal, Lionel Dray, Seydou Boro, Aïssa Maïga, Bob Hoskins, Fanny Ardent, Elijah Wood, Olga Kurylenko, Emily Mortimer, Rufus Sewell, Alexander Payne, Natalie Portman, Melchior Beslon, Ben Gazzara, Gena Rowlands, Gérard Depardieu, Margo Martindale

Plot(s): Paris je t’aime is an anthology film, meaning that it’s not just one continuous storyline, but a series of several (In this case, eighteen) short films, each with their own storyline, director, writer and actors. In this case, each one of the films are named after the Parisian neighbourhood where they take place (Although scenes were also filmed in Switzerland, Germany and Lichtenstein).  Some notable short films in Paris, je t’aime include:

• Steve Buscemi getting assaulted in a Paris subway station.
•  A beauty product salesman (Barbet Schroeder) trying to sell a product to a Chinese hairdresser (Li Xin).
• A young man (Cyril Descours) coming to the aid of a young Muslim woman ( Leïla Bekhti) after she is bullied by a couple of racists. 
• A mime propositions women, gets rejected.
• Maggie Gylenhaal develops a crush on her hashish dealer.
• A vampire (Olga Kurylenko) terrorizes Frodo Baggins.
• An American tourist (Margo Martindale) reflects in broken French on her vacation in Paris.

I feel like the most important thing in a movie like this, that is, a romantic movie that also serves as an homage to the City of Lights, would be to make sure that it doesn’t stray into sappy, overly sentimental territory with occasional pretty vistas in Paris littered throughout. Indeed, there are times in the early going when PJT can stray dangerously close to being kinda eye-rollingly sweet, but it never really crosses the line and remains a very entertaining movie, while also juggling different themes and genres without letting it get out of hand.

Well, at least until the “Porte de Choisy” sketch (The one about the Chinese hairdresser) , which tries way too fucking hard to be quirky, a constant pain in the ass of mine since Napoleon Dynamite.  It throws all these bright, disorienting colours at you and tries to make its’ point (About beauty in uniqueness, or something) so incoherently that it felt like it was directed by Baz Luhrmann.

To it’s credit though, the only real hiccup the movie hits after that is the weird vampire scene with Elijah Wood and Olga Kurylenko. And I don’t even know if I would really call that one a hiccup, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to feel after watching it other than confused and somewhat disturbed.

Otherwise, though, the movie does a fantastic job of making the audience go through a whirlwind of emotions throughout, possibly because of the slew of different directors used. The comedic skits (I feel like these comprised the majority) are very well done and never unnecessarily dry or dark, meaning that we end these short films with a pleasant lighthearted feeling, which makes the scenes that ARE  a little darker and hard hitting that much more of a punch in the gut. I suppose this can leave the audience feel a little bit numb, which isn’t really a positive, but hey, this isn’t really that big of a complaint.

Another minor flaw can be found in the writing, in that I think that it can try a little bit too hard to be deep and introspective occasionally, which can be muddling for my poor reptilian brain to process, but for the most part, it’s a smart, intelligent and funny script that competently does what it needs to do to set things up for the enormous ensemble cast, which mostly consists of European actors unrecognizable to the average North American moviegoer, which is kind of a damn shame, because they do a pretty freaking great job countering some of their more well known counterparts, such as Bob fucking Hoskins, Nick Nolte, Steve Buscemi, Willem Dafoe and, be still my beating heart, Natalie Portman. Every actor, A-lister or otherwise, does an excellent job of really drawing the audience in and making these characters interesting, which is somewhat tough to do when all you’re given is around ten-ish minutes to make an audience care about that character.

“How hard could it possibly be? I’m Natalie-fucking-Portman!”

Conclusion: While not without its’  fair share of flaws, Paris, je t’aime makes up for them, mainly on the strength of the performances and the emotional journey the viewer is taken on.

Rating: 8.5/10

 

 

The Grand Budapest Hotel (Movie Review)

Say “Ralph Fiennes” out loud for me right now. If you pronounced “Ralph” with an “L”, then I know something you don’t know! … “Saoirse Ronan” is still a complete fucking mystery for me though.

So, I finally got to see Wes Anderson’s new movie, The Grand Budapest Hotel. Before beginning the review, I must confess that I’ve never actually seen a Wes Anderson film before. I knew him only as the weird, quirky guy that uses a lot of colour and makes a lot of movies with Owen Wilson, Bill Murray and Edward Norton. But hey, I’m nothing if not intrepid, so I decided to take a chance, not go to some crowd-pleaser like  Noah, Captain America: The Winter Soldier or The Lego Movie (Which may be because I hate watching animated movies in theaters, but that’s a topic for another post) and take a chance on this weirdo and his Ralph Fiennes-headed movie.

Boy am I not regretting that decision right about now.

 

 The Grand Budapest Hotel 

Directed by: Wes Anderson

Produced by: Wes Anderson, Jeremy Dawson, Steven M. Rales, Scott  Rudin

Screenplay by: Wes Anderson

Story by: Wes Anderson, Hugo Guinness

Genres: Dark Comedy, Mystery

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Tony Revolori, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff  Goldblum,  Saoirse Ronan, Edward Norton, F. Murray Abraham, Mathieu  Amalric, Jude Law, Harvey  Keitel, Bill Murray, Lea Seydoux, Jason  Schwartzman, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson,  Owen Wilson

Plot: The Grand Budapest Hotel opens in the fictional European republic of Zubrowka in the year 1968, where a famous unnamed writer (Law) is vacationing at a decrepit relic of a hotel named, you guessed it, the Grand Budapest. The once decadent and celebrated hotel has fallen onto difficult times, being, as mentioned, decrepit and, as a result, business has suffered. While there, the writer meets the elderly proprietor of the hotel, a man named Zero Moustafa. Moustafa, a fan of the writer’s work, invites him to dinner where the writer inquires about how the old man came to own the hotel and why the hell he hasn’t closed the dump down.

Moustafa’s story began in 1932, when young Zero (Revolori) was hired as a lobby boy at the Grand Budapest, a lucrative, decadent hotel with a mysterious, anonymous owner where he is mentored by the hotel’s eccentric concierge, Monsieur Gustave H (Fiennes). The looming specter of war in Zubrowka does nothing to faze Gustave  an extremely devoted concierge, who goes the extra mile to make the clientele feel comfortable and ensure that everything runs smoothly. He is, however a bit of a, well, an oddball. In order to make any anxious older blonde ladies feel welcome, personally makes them feel physically and emotionally at ease… With his penis.

Sadly, one of his more frequent penis-clients, Madame D (Swinton in terrific old lady makeup) dies under mysterious circumstances. Accompanied by Zero, he arrives at Madame D’s wake, where it is revealed, surprisingly, that he has inherited an invaluable painting from Madame D, the priceless Boy with Apple. This decision does not sit well with Madame D’s family, especially her villainous son, Dmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis (Brody), who coveted the painting and wants him dead.

As far as the story goes, I have no real complaints with the movie. I’ve always been a fan of the mystery-comedy genre since I saw the Pink Panther movies as a little kid….

And then, Hollywood discovered the reboot and everything went to shit.

…  And, in truth, it does seem to have a similar style to those movies, so yeah, maybe it provides a healthy bit of nostalgia for me, but regardless of my weirdly old-fashioned tastes, it’s humour should appeal to pretty much anybody. It’s zany enough to appeal to little kids, dry and subtle enough to appeal to older folks, and, surprisingly, dark enough to appeal to sick, twisted weirdos like me. Is this type of somewhat wide-reaching humour a staple of Wes Anderson movies?  Because if so, I need to have a marathon one of these days, this stuff is just wonderful.

One minor quibble I have is that the plot got a tiny bit muddled near the end, which left me a little bit confused, but truth be told, I couldn’t really give less of a shit. The humour, as well as the wonderful use of colour more than make up for anything my pathetic lizard brain couldn’t comprehend. There is just way too much positives to really make a serious complaint out of something that can be remedied by just paying a little bit less attention to the colour of the elevator, or whatever.

Acting: The cast in this movie is goddamn insane. All of Anderson’s usual crop of actors make an appearance in roles of varying importance, and they are all very good at their respective parts. The two leads, however are played by Wes Anderson newcomer Ralph Fiennes, who is absolutely brilliant as Monsieur Gustave, and should, so far, be an early favourite for an Oscar nod.

Although it’s easy to be considered an Oscar favourite in March when this piece of crap is the next best non-animated movie in theatres.

This is the first big role for American actor Tony Revolori however. And I gotta say, he knocks it out of the park as young Zero Moustafa. It’s a rare thing when I approve of an actor under the age of eighteen, but Revolori is funny, fun to watch, and in rare occasions, kind of sad. Irish actress Saoirse Ronan is also wonderful as Zero’s love interest, and Adrien Brody is clearly having a blast as the cartoonishly evil, yet still sinister antagonist, Dmitri.

Which is good to see, considering the career choices he’s made lately.

 

Conclusion: Vibrant, colourful and hilarious, Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel is an epitome of pure joy. If there is one movie you must see this week, go on and take a chance on Wes Anderson. Captain America isn’t going anywhere.

9.5/10

 

Thor: The Dark World (Movie Review)

I was going to review Wes Anderson’s new movie, The Grand Budapest Hotel, for you guys, but apparently, the good people of Edmonton Alberta decided that today, of all days, was the perfect day, two weeks after the movies’ opening day, to wander over to Cineplex Odeon and fill up the goddamn theater to partake in the whimsical delight that is Wes Anderson (I assume. I’ve never actually seen a Wes Anderson movie before).

Which means I’m missing out on way more Bill Murray than is acceptable.

Anyways, since iTunes and credit cards are things that exist, I decided to catch up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with the next Captain America movie and Guardians of the Galaxy coming up. Time to bring the hammer down on Thor: The Dark World!

…

Get  it? ‘Cause he uses a hammer?

Ah, fuck it.

 Thor: The Dark World

  Directed by: Alan Taylor

  Produced by: Kevin Feige

  Written by: Christopher Yost, Christopher Markus,  Stephen      McFeely (Story by Don Payne and Robert Rodat)

  Based on: Thor by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and Larry Lieber

Genres: Superhero, Fantasy

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Idris Elba, Christopher Eccleston. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Kat Dennings, Ray Stevenson, Zachary Levi, Tadanobu Asano, Jaimie Alexander, Rene Russo

Plot: Taking place two years after the events of Thor, and the title character (Hemsworth), accompanied by the Warriors Three (Stevenson, Levi and Asano) and Sif (Alexander) have just completed a campaign to pacify the nine realms of Asgard after they were destabilized following the destruction of Bifrost and the attempted alien invasion of New York, led by Thor’s step-brother, Loki (Hiddleston) in The Avengers. Loki has since been imprisoned by his adoptive father (And Thor’s biological father) Odin (Hopkins), the Allfather.

Meanwhile, on Earth, Dr. Jane Foster (Portman), Thor’s ex-flame, and her intern/best friend/effective comic relief, Darcy Lewis (Dennings) are in London, looking for their colleague, Dr. Erik Selvig (Skarsgård), who has been driven crazy by the experience of being possessed by Loki during The Avengers. While adventuring around London, they find an abandoned warehouse that houses several inter-dimensional portals. One such portal transports Jane to another world, where she is infected by the Aether, which is essentially a weapon of mass destruction in creepy liquid form. Her infection attracts the attention of Malekith the Accursed (Eccleston), a dark elf and ancient enemy of the Asgardians who aims to plunge the universe into darkness.

The plot sounds simple enough, but the reality is that it’s told in a way that had me kind of lost midway through. When the whole selling point of your movie is “Chris Hemsworth dresses up like a viking and beats the shit out of mythical creatures”, you don’t need to add a bunch of convoluted crap about the alignment of the realms, and then explain it in a way that bores and confuses me, to get me to watch your movie. But, as I just mentioned, this is not the case, and as a result, some parts (Cough cough, the climax) feel muddled and anti-climactic. It doesn’t help that a large part of the plot is built around a rather uninteresting villain in Malekith the Accursed.

Another plot problem is that the movie, at the beginning, tries to establish sort of a love triangle between Thor, Jane and Sif. The filmmakers went to the trouble of foreshadowing some sort of sexual tension, but we never hear about it again. What the hell was that all about?

While the cast does a great job, the one weak link among the whole bunch is Christopher Eccleston as Malekith. I’ve never seen an episode of Doctor Who in my life, but he didn’t exactly make a compelling case for my dropping Sword Art Online anytime soon.

Aside from Fullmetal Alchemist and Pokemon, it’s the only anime I’ve ever seen that doesn’t give off a rape-y vibe. Mostly.

Of course, it doesn’t help that his makeup looked like total shit.

Thankfully, the rest of the special effects are beyond phenomenal, especially the visuals of the city of Asgard. How this movie was excluded from the Oscar ballot in lieu of the Lone fucking Ranger  blows my goddamn mind.

Acting: Aside from Eccleston, the cast does a great job. Tom Hiddleston steals the show as Loki, who may be the best-written super-villain since Heath Ledger’s Joker. Chris Hemsworth is charismatic and fits the role of Thor like a giant, blond, muscular glove, and Natalie Portman has come another step closer towards erasing the memory of her role in the Star Wars prequels.

As much as one can try to forget, anyways.

What really made the characters shine is the dialogue, though. While the writers may have ignored minor details, such as a halfway understandable plot, but they nail the interactions between all the characters (Though, again, it helps that the actors did great jobs). the movie never really had a problem with tone, and managed to be sad, funny or tense whenever it needed to be, even avoiding the typical amounts of superhero cheese that comes with the territory of a movie like this.

Conclusion: I’d need to watch the first one again to decide whether I liked this one better or not, but what it lacks in terms of a coherent plot, it makes up for with its’ cast, dialogue, action scenes and especially the visual effects, and it all adds up to a very entertaining superhero flick.

Overall Rating: 7.5/10