Sunshine Blogger Award

sunshine-blogger

“The Sunshine Blogger Award: Face-meltingly adorable!” -Suggested tagline.

Since I can’t be arsed to go to that goddamned ridiculous-looking Hitman: Agent 47 or the newest addition to the creative wasteland that is the horror genre (Sinister 2: The Obnoxious Jumpscares Strike Back), I found myself lost for new content to post this week and weekend that isn’t just a continuation of my Who the Fuck…???  series. If you’re familiar with my style, that’s not good news, as it means that the time that i spend trying to do something creative will inevitably devolve into me falling down into a rabbit hole at tvtropes.com.

Although I now know more about the Three Faces of Eve than any human being should.

Thankfully, my ass was saved by the good people at Bookidote nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award, which, to paraphrase, is an award that one is supposed to pass on to those who: put a little sunshine in your day, who are positive, creative, and inspiring. Considering that I suggested in my Fantastic Four review that anybody who had a problem with Johnny Storm being black submit themselves to euthanasia, I don’t know if  those three adjectives are the best descriptors, but nonetheless, I’m still extremely appreciative. I highly suggest you check out Bookidote the next chance you get, because I gotta say, it’s a pretty chill site.

Anyhoo, I’m supposed to answer eleven questions, then nominate a few more people and ask a new set of eleven questions. Since talking about myself is by far my favourite thing in the world to do, I’ll save that for last and get my nominations out of the way first.

  • The fine folks down at Assholes Watching Movies.
  • Sarah Johansson, the mad genius at Problems With Infinity.
  • Filmmunch, a great site that I don’t read nearly as much as I should.
  • Polar Bears Watch TV, who is probably not an actual polar bear, but I enjoy the mental image of a computer-savvy polar bear, so I will keep picturing that in my head.
  • I can’t nominate Bookidote, cuz they nominated me, but you really should check them out.

My questions are:

  1. What movie would you erase from existence if you could?
  2. Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met?
  3. Who’s the most punchable fictional character ever?
  4. What’s the last thing you ate?
  5. Favourite book-to-film adaptation?
  6. Which movie genre would you erase from existence if you could?
  7. What’s your favourite film score?
  8. Uhh…. What’s your least favourite book-to-film adaptation?
  9. Will there ever be a video game movie that doesn’t make the audience wanna shove shards of glass into their eyes?
  10. What’s the last book you’ve read cover-to-cover, and when did you read it?
  11. If you could speak to Donald Trump right this instant, what would you say to him?

Wooo! I got all that “thinking” shit out of the way. Now to blab nonstop about myself!

It’s truly a wonder I’m single.

What book you wish you can just go back and never read it ?

 The Girl with the Pearl Earring. I hate that book. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I had to do a report on it in tenth grade, and my teacher (Who, incidentally, is a fan of the book) liked my intelligent, thought-out (Ha!) analysis so much that I got a one-hundred percent. That’s right, my writing ability peaked at age sixteen.

…Ladies…

Are you where you wanted to be at this stage in your life?

 That’s… Surprisingly heavy. Okay then.

I’d say I’m pretty happy with my life right now. I’m eighteen, I don’t pay rent, I’m going to a good university in the fall, and I have a part-time job where I can choose the hours and can make $150+ in a week that’s doesn’t involve dealing pot. I’d say that makes up for the self-destructive god complex and intense sociopathy.

If you can choose to live in fictional place, where would that be ? (from any book, comic or movie)

 I’m letting my millenial-ness show here, but I want to live at Hogwarts. Sure, the annual monster attacks would get tedious after a while, but I can cower behind large objects well enough, I think I’d be fine.

Admittedly, Emma Watson is the main draw.

Shit, if Ron had a chance….

Worst nickname that someone has given you? 

Uhhh….. Well, that’s tough, because answering this would involve revealing my real name, and I’m not going to do that. However, I was called a “SJW cocksucker” by some waste of oxygen who commented on my Fantastic Four review, so…. there’s that.

I’m not bringing much in the “sunshine” department, am I? Sorry about that. Here, you’ve made it this far, you guys deserve a treat. Look, puppies or whatever!

The one on the left looks strangely pissed, doesn’t he?

Any guilty pleasure ?

 Oh, dude, so much.

Off the top of my head, Van Wilder comes to mind. If it wasn’t for Ryan Reynolds, I would hate this movie, but, well, Ryan Reynolds is in it, and as I mentioned in my Blade: Trinity review a million years ago, he immediately elevates the shitty movies he’s in, which, unfortunately, is most of the movies he’s in.

Fun fact: The Deadpool plot is just Deadpool murdering Ryan Reynolds’ agent over and over for two and a half hours.

 I also really love RWBY. For those of you not in-tune with YouTube culture, RWBY (Pronounced “Ruby”) is an anime-inspired web series where four conveniently colour-coded teenage girls who attend Anime Hogwarts use their superpowers to defend humanity from Jessica Nigri. It’s very strange, and during the first season, the dialogue is… Um… I don’t want to be too mean, because the creator and writer, the great Monty Oum, actually died recently and that bums me out, but… It’s pretty crappy. And as awesome as the soundtrack is, the lyrics really shouldn’t read like they were translated from Japanese using Google Translate when they were originally written in English.

The action and animation is legitimately good (Usually) though, and the characters are likable enough. Everything actually picks up during the second season, and the people involved say that a third one’s coming, even after Monty Oum’s passing. I’m on board, I guess, but if you want to stay far away at all times… I get it.

Sure, these outfits are horribly impractical for fighting monsters, but look at it this way: They’re more appropriately dressed than Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic World!

Any secret talents?

 I’m perfectly mediocre at guitar, and I’m actually pretty damn good at baseball. I seriously think that I could’ve been drafted if I lived in the States and not in the baseball dead zone that is Edmonton, Alberta (Though when I was little, I was planning at one point to attend St. Francis Xavier Academy for the purpose of playing baseball. Knowing my current aversion to both over-competitive douchebags and religion, that probably would not have ended well). I probably wouldn’t have gone higher than maybe AA, but hey, that would still make me the third best baseball player to come out of Alberta after flash-in-the-pan Milwaukee Brewers closer Jim Henderson and AAAA journeyman pitcher Mike Johnson, who I actually met once at a baseball camp, where he was the outfield instructor… For some reason.

What kind of music are you listening to? 

My favourite band of all time, for nostalgic purposes is The Offspring (My favourite song of theirs is “You’re Gonna go Far Kid”), and I do love them a lot, but I think my less nostalgia-tinted favourite is probably Rise Against (“Prayer of the Refugee”). Other artists that I love (And my respective favourite song of theirs) are: Green Day (“Basket Case”), Blink-182 (“Dammit”), My Chemical Romance (“Welcome to the Black Parade), Eminem (“When I’m Gone”), Ninja Sex Party (“Dinosaur Laser Fight”), Against Me! (“White People For Peace”), Alkaline Trio (“Help Me”), Bad Religion (“American Jesus”), Ramones (“I Wanna Be Sedated”), Sex Pistols (“Anarchy in the U.K.”), Dead Kennedys (“Halloween”), Black Flag (“Nervous Breakdown”), the Wonder Years (“Cigarettes & Saints” is probably the song I’m listening to most these days), No Use for a Name (“For Fiona”), Lorde (“Team”), Billy Talent (“Cure for the Enemy”), Anti-Flag (“The Press Corpse”), the Beatles (“Helter Skelter”), the Clash (“White Riot”), Bob Dylan (“The Ballad of Hollis Brown”), Bruce Springsteen (“Born to Run”), the Circle Jerks (“Live Fast Die Young”), David Bowie (“Changes”), Descendents (“Suburban Home”), Face to Face (“Blind”), Foo Fighters (“Everlong”), the Gaslight Anthem (“Get Hurt”), Gerard Way (“How it’s Going to Be”), Jello Biafra (“Attack of the Peacekeepers”), Linkin Park (“Bleed it Out”), The Mr. T Experience (“Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend”), Nirvana (“Molly’s Lips”), NoFX (“Franco Un-American”), Rancid (“Ruby Soho”), Red Hot Chili Peppers (“Dani California”), Starbomb (“The Book of Nook”), Sum 41 (“No Reason”), Weezer (“No One Else”), and +44 (“No, it Isn’t”).

And that, dear readers, is how you pump up the word count through no effort whatsoever!

Favourite book of all time ? 

I can’t pick one out of the three, because I love them all equally, but my favourite trilogy of books is the Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness (The Knife of Never Letting Go,The Ask and the Answer and Monsters of Men). I don’t want to get into the plot, because that would mean instant spoilers, but I will say that everybody needs to read this book right now. Like, right now. Your menial bullshit can wait, this book NEEDS to be the best-selling book of all time.

Favourite quote ?

“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s AIDS.”

-A Cards Against Humanity card I once played.

And now, for the quote that doesn’t out me as a horrible person!

“So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’tcha know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day.”

Marge Gunderson, Fargo

Morning person or night owl?

If anybody wakes me up before I’m good and ready, they go in the hole with that girl in Silence of the Lambs.

Tell me about one of your hobbies.

Amiibos.

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Motherfucking amiibos.

For those of you who lead productive lives, amiibos are figurines that Nintendo, the world’s most lovable soulless corporation, made as an accessory to the latest Super Smash Bros. game, which is essentially, a fighting game starring Nintendo’s all-stars.

As well as Sonic the Hedgehog, who hasn’t been relevant since 2006.

The figurines didn’t interest me all that much, as it just struck me as a Nintendo marketing gimmick. They are nice figures, though, so I decided to just buy the ones for my favourite characters, Yoshi, Samus Aran, Pikachu, Sheik, Link…. And Mario, because it’s Mario, Luigi, because I like Luigi better than Luigi…. And Donkey Kong…. And Kirby…..And Princess Zelda….And Princess Peach…. And Bowser…. And Sonic…. And Diddy Kong…. And the Disney Channel version of Link…. And Pac-Man…And Mega Man… And another version of Yoshi…. And Toad…. And Silver Mario…. And a Fox amiibo that’s still in its Japanese packaging… Anyways, $350+ dollars later, I think I’m over the addiction. It’s not like they’re coming out with a new wave of characters that I would kill infants fo-

So long Junior, daddy needs a Zero Suit Samus amiibo.