All-Star Rosters Revealed! (Part 1)

Well, after two months of debating, complaining and typing death threats in caps lock, MLB.com has finally released the rosters for the 2013 All-Star Game in Citi Field, New York. This promises to be both an interesting game and a way for Mets fans to take a break from being Mets fans (God help them.) and play host to the Midsummer Classic, that grand celebration of baseball, fandom and idiotic popularity contests.

Proof that you can finish in the top 5 in the voting standings by playing a single game in AAA. Why do we not want Yasiel Puig playing, again?

I kid the ASG. I do love watching the game, and it’s really nice to see the (Usually) top players in the game on the same field at the same time. You know, at least until they are caught using steroids and publicly disgraced, but until then, it’s usually a fun ride.

Yeah, there’s no way signing this guy to an inappropriate amount of money would blow up in our faces.

So, initial reaction upon seeing the results? Well, mainly that I’m actually okay with them. Yes, I do have some quibbles, like the exclusion of a certain Mr. Santana…

Well, he HAS played as much big league games as Derek Jeter this season…

and a certain Mr. Lind, I’m pretty satisfied with the teams the two sides are sending to Queens. Here is my review of the AL roster.

Starters
C: Joe Mauer, Twins
1B: Chris Davis, Orioles
2B: Robinson Cano, Yankees
SS: J.J. Hardy, Orioles
3B: Miguel Cabrera, Tigers
OF: Mike Trout, Angels
OF: Adam Jones, Orioles
OF: Jose Bautista, Blue Jays
DH: David Ortiz, Red Sox

I would’ve changed:

2B: Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox

SS: Jhonny Peralta, Tigers

Not to draw the ire of Yankees fans, because I’m sure you’re all beautiful people…

Most of you, I mean.

… but I voted for Dustin Pedroia. It wasn’t an easy decision by any stretch of the imagination, but I can’t really argue with a .325 batting average.  Besides, this Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is irrelevant and retarded. Can’t we all just kiss and make up?

Was that so hard?

I approve of all the other choices with the exception of J.J. Hardy at shortstop. Sure, he’s having a solid season, but a) Jhonny Peralta is having the better season and b) watching someone with an On-Base Percentage under .300 (Hardy’s is .290) is not that fun. Take it from somebody who’s been watching J.P. Arencibia for three years.

Pitchers
RHP: Clay Buchholz , Red Sox
LHP: Brett Cecil, Blue Jays
RHP: Bartolo Colon , A’s
RHP: Jesse Crain , White Sox
RHP: Yu Darvish, Rangers
RHP: Felix Hernandez, Mariners
RHP: Hisashi Iwakuma, Mariners
RHP: Justin Masterson, Indians
RHP: Joe Nathan, Rangers
LHP: Glen Perkins , Twins
RHP: Mariano Rivera, Yankees
LHP: Chris Sale, White Sox
RHP: Max Scherzer, Tigers
RHP: Justin Verlander, Tigers

Note: Bucholz and Crain are both injured and will miss the Game. Perkins and Colon are their replacements.

I would’ve changed:

There is no way in hell I’m gonna comb through every single fucking team comparing pitchers.

I don’t have too much to say in this category, but I’m gonna talk about Brett Cecil a bit.

For those of you who don’t follow the Blue Jays (I know, few and far between, right?) Brett Cecil was a fairly highly touted lefty starting pitcher prospect in our organisation, earning quite a bit of praise at the minor league level. He was called up in 2009 and proceeded to suck at the big league level, posting a 4.79 ERA between 2009 and 2012 with a couple trips back to AAA. That coupled with his incendiary attitude (Think Brett Lawrie but left-handed, wearing goggles and generally less of a douche. (Just kidding. Love you B.L.)) drew the ire of Jays fans, and he only made the roster this year because we needed a lefty and he was out of options.

He was moved to the bullpen and, possibly thanks to the smaller workloads and less pressure, is now, quite possibly, the best reliever in the AL. This brings us to my final remark of the section…

Why the FUCK aren’t the Giants doing this with Tim Lincecum?

Reserves
C: Jason Castro, Astros
C: Salvador Perez, Royals
1B: Prince Fielder, Tigers
2B: Jason Kipnis, Indians
2B: Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox
2B: Ben Zobrist, Rays
SS: Jhonny Peralta: Tigers
3B: Manny Machado, Orioles
OF: Nelson Cruz, Rangers
OF: Alex Gordon, Royals
OF: Torii Hunter, Tigers
DH: Edwin Encarnacion, Blue Jays

I would have changed:

C: Carlos Santana, Indians

1B: Adam Lind, Blue Jays

2B: Howie Kendrick, Angels

This is where I have the most objections. If it wasn’t for the rule of having one representative from each team, the three players I mentioned would have those roster spots down. I would even argue that Adam Lind deserves the spot instead of Prince Fielder, but nobody likes the guy who beats up on a teams “designated teddy bear”, so I won’t bother.

I don’t care how bad Munenori Kawasaki’s hitting is…If you diss him, I will fucking cut you.

(NL Roster coming soon…Veeeery sooon…)

AL All-Star Ballot Update!

Well, it’s been a few weeks since I last checked out the All-Star Vote standings for the AL and the NL. I’d say we’re probably overdue for another tirade against ballot-stuffers, eh? Well, as soon as I tear my eyes away from the mean-spirited ugliness that is the MLB.com comments section. Is it just me, or do all people named “commenter” have some form of mental instability issue?

 

AMERICAN LEAGUE ALL-STAR VOTING
(as of June 15)

FIRST BASE
Chris Davis, Orioles 2,999,094
Prince Fielder, Tigers 1,980,129
Mike Napoli, Red Sox 744,334
Albert Pujols, Angels 693,062
Mitch Moreland, Rangers 645,071

My Vote: Chris Davis, Orioles

It’s good to see that at least one of the starters will be deserving. Chris Davis is absolutely killing it in Baltimore. Really, if anybody has a .330+ average and is on pace for 40+ home runs, then they better be the ASG starter.

I’m kinda dissapointed that Adam Lind isn’t getting any love, and especially dissapointed that Albert Pujols is seen by some as an All-Star. I can’t really complain otherwise.

SECOND BASE
Robinson Cano, Yankees 2,409,512
Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox 1,635,674
Ian Kinsler, Rangers 1,123,654
Omar Infante, Tigers 872,142
Jose Altuve, Astros 734,896

My Vote: Robinson Cano

Man, was probably the most difficult position to vote for. I mean, in the top 3 spots are three EXTREMELY good ballplayers in Robbie Cano (Who will almost certainly be voted in) Dustin Pedroia (Who may be having a better season, and Howie Kendrick, who- wait a minute. Where’s Howie? Howie!? HOWIE!?!?

Wrong one, asshole.

In the end, I voted for Cano, but going back on it, I think Howie Kendrick was the better choice. I can live with Cano starting though.

However, the fact that Kendrick isn’t in the Top 5 is inexcusable.

SHORTSTOP
J.J. Hardy, Orioles 1,871,010
Elvis Andrus, Rangers 1,358,412
Jhonny Peralta, Tigers 1,322,791
Jed Lowrie, Athletics 1,019,861
Derek Jeter, Yankees 669,698

My Vote: Jhonny Peralta.

My God, there were slim pickings at this position. The only truly worthy contenders (That I remember) are Hardy, Peralta, and Lowrie. This seems as good a time as any to speculate on why exactly Elvis Andrus is here. I must have been asleep when a sub .600 OPS was declared an acceptable quality for an All-Star. Bot his OBP and his Slugging Percentage are under .300. Stop. Voting. For. Him.

As for Derek Jeter, i’m not going to bother  chastising the idiots who voted for the guy who hasn’t played a single game this season and  probably won’t play in the game anyways. I just find it weird that in the comments section, nobody seems to own up to voting for him. Does this mean that whoever’s voting for him is embarrassed that they voted for him? I mean, they should be, but they should be able to put their money where their mouth is, right?

THIRD BASE
Miguel Cabrera, Tigers 3,277,890
Manny Machado, Orioles 1,626,209
Adrian Beltre, Rangers 1,105,706
Evan Longoria, Rays 898,422
Josh Donaldson, Athletics 500,773

My Vote: Miguel Cabrera

What can I possibly say about Miguel Cabrera that hasn’t been said already? I can really only express my condolences for Machado, Beltre, Longoria and Donaldson. Any one of them (Mainly Machado) would have had a decent shot had it not been for Miguel Cabrera existing.

CATCHER
Joe Mauer, Twins 2,127,175
Matt Wieters, Orioles 1,615,625
A.J. Pierzynski, Rangers 885,137
Carlos Santana, Indians 864,779
Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Red Sox 748,725

My Vote: Joe Mauer

My only two complaints here are: a) That Matt Wieters has more than a million votes and b) That Jason Castro is nowhere to be see on the list. This is mostly as a result of the obscurity that comes with working in Houston.

DESIGNATED HITTER
David Ortiz, Red Sox 2,488,451
Lance Berkman, Rangers 1,239,521
Edwin Encarnacion, Blue Jays 769,322
Mark Reynolds, Indians 745,058
Mark Trumbo, Angels 722,667

My Vote: David Ortiz

Big Papi’s monster season took me completely by surprise. How often does an obese, non-juiced 37 year old put up a .900+ OPS?

Ha. No.

On a bitter note, how the fuck did more people think that Lance Berkman deserves the vote more then Edwin Encarnacion?

OUTFIELD
Adam Jones, Orioles 2,740,505
Mike Trout, Angels 2,710,115
Nick Markakis, Orioles 1,463,392
Torii Hunter, Tigers 1,425,571
Jose Bautista, Blue Jays 1,379,251
Nelson Cruz, Rangers 1,310,079
Nate McLouth, Orioles 1,300,158
Alex Gordon, Royals 1,040,685
Jacoby Ellsbury, Red Sox 1,004,434
Yoenis Cespedes, Athletics 926,611
Coco Crisp, Athletics 869,153
Josh Hamilton, Angels 726,485
Austin Jackson, Tigers 712,623
Shane Victorino, Red Sox 682,220
Ichiro Suzuki, Yankees 620,734

My Vote: Adam Jones, Mike Trout, Jose Bautista

This list starts off strong (With the exception of Torii Hunter and Nick Markakis over Jose Bautista) but gets dodgy near the end. Angels fans can’t stop spewing hatred at Josh Hamilton, and yet, they keep voting for him. And it boggles the mind to ponder how Ichiro got here. I love the guy too, Yankee fans, but come on. He’s a defense only ballplayer nowadays, and God bless ’em (I may be the world’s biggest John McDonald fan) but  he’s definitely not an All-Star

Tomorrow, be sure to check in for the NL ballot update and my thoughts.

NL All-Star Ballot Update!

(This is a continuation of this post. I would have published this one earlier, but I was too busy writing this article and not giving too much of a damn about the MLB draft. Also, the Biogenesis thing.)

So, on June 4th, MLB.com released the current standings for the National League all-star votes. The NL voters (Aside from the Giants fans) seem to be less of the ballot stuffing variety then the AL voters. (Or maybe they`re just being more discreet about it.)

Anyways…

CATCHER
1. Buster Posey, Giants: 1,275,956
2. Yadier Molina, Cardinals: 938,911
3. John Buck, Mets: 523,843
4. Jonathan Lucroy, Brewers: 313,574
5. Brian McCann, Braves: 285,600

Nothing to complain about here. It`s pretty much a toss-up between Posey and Molina (Though I`d expect a slight edge to Yadi.) Otherwise, I`m pretty much indifferent to the 3-5 rankings since, aside from McCann, they aren’t having All-Star caliber seasons in the least.

FIRST BASE
1. Joey Votto, Reds: 1,044,742
2. Brandon Belt, Giants: 513,371
3. Paul Goldschmidt, Diamondbacks: 473,513
4. Adrian Gonzalez, Dodgers: 464,845
5. Freddie Freeman, Braves: 438,868

Look, I like Brandon Belt, all right? I’ve always been a fan of the low power, strong fielding first baseman. I saw a fair bit of him watching the (Incredibly dull) World Series last year, and I think he`s definitely a big leaguer. Also, his nickname is Baby Giraffe.

Everyone is required to like him after seeing this photo. Even you, Dodger fans.

But for the love of God, will someone please tell me what the hell he`s doing in front of Paul Goldschmidt? I mean, just fucking look at Paul Goldschmidt’s stats! Holy shit! That is a far cry from Brandon Belts’ average (.242) and OPS (.731). Admittedly, I voted for my fellow Canadian boy Joey Votto (Who is also excellent) but I will probably change my vote whenever I next feel like voting.

SECOND BASE
1. Brandon Phillips, Reds: 1,019,240
2. Marco Scutaro, Giants: 801,754
3. Chase Utley, Phillies: 524,219
4. Matt Carpenter, Cardinals: 439,239
5. Dan Uggla, Braves: 384,462

For all of Brandon Phillip’s cockiness, he is still one of the best offensive second basemen in baseball, and maybe the best defensive one too. I love Marco Scutaro too. You can`t argue with a .323 batting average, and it’s impossible for me to not cheer for an ex-Blue Jay either.

Ummm… Never mind.

So what`s the problem?

Well, neither of them have been as good as Matt Carpenter.

Also, isn’t Chase Utley injured? And what the hell is Dan Uggla doing here?

SHORTSTOP
1. Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies: 1,025,844
2. Brandon Crawford, Giants: 668,140
3. Jean Segura, Brewers: 554,403
4. Andrelton Simmons, Braves: 372,844
5. Pete Kozma, Cardinals: 311,852

One look at Troy Tulowitzki’s stats will tell you that he deserves to start the All-Star game at shortstop for the National League. You may be able to put together a convincing argument for Jean Segura, but I`d still go with Tulo any day of the week.

While we’re on Segura, though, what exactly is Brandon Crawford doing ahead of him? Come on Giants fans, it’s not funny anymore. Crawford`s stats are nice, but are nowhere near nice enough to justify his standing ahead of Jean Segura.

If All-Stars were judged on defense and defense alone, then Andrelton Simmons and Pete Kozma would be closer to the top of this list, but sadly, their sup-.700 OPS’s likely spell doom.

 

THIRD BASE
1. Pablo Sandoval, Giants: 1,094,475
2. David Wright, Mets: 967,299
3. Chris Johnson, Braves: 386,811
4. David Freese, Cardinals: 375,428
5. Todd Frazier, Reds: 343,201

Finally, a category in which you could make a solid case for any guy to be #1! However, as you can see, the fans are quite clearly uninterested in 3-5 and are focusing on the two (In one case, literally) big guys.

The most lovable obese ball player not named David Ortiz…

At some point, non-Yankee fans agreed to pretend that this never happened.

… Has evolved into a perennially solid All-star case. While his numbers aren’t exactly eye-popping, they will be enough to at least get him a reserve spot on the team.

David “Captain America” Wright has been more or less his usual self this year, (Though he is in a cold spot right now) this year. In my personal opinion, I would pick Wright over the Panda, because Wright is having a marginally better offensive season and is miles better defensively.

 

OUTFIELD
1. Justin Upton, Braves: 1,184,249
2. Bryce Harper, Nationals: 1,182,532
3. Ryan Braun, Brewers: 945,665
4. Carlos Beltran, Cardinals: 847,924
5. Shin-Soo Choo, Reds: 743,755
6. Hunter Pence, Giants: 624,972
7. Andrew McCutchen, Pirates: 576,201
8. Angel Pagan, Giants: 572,400
9. Matt Holliday, Cardinals: 491,629
10. Carlos Gonzalez, Rockies: 482,719
11. Gregor Blanco, Giants: 475,662
12. Carlos Gomez, Brewers: 472,272
13. B.J. Upton, Braves: 420,104
14. Matt Kemp, Dodgers: 389,372
15. Jay Bruce, Reds: 374,852

Confession time: I hate Ryan Braun.

It takes a lot for me to hate a ballplayer (See: Escobar, Yunel) but Ryan Braun really does suck. I really hope he gets that 100-game suspension (Though I highly doubt that). Baseball already has a reputation as a juicer sport, and this asshole isn’t helping.

That said, he is having another good season, and I voted for him. While he’s cooled off some what, he should be able to make his sixth all-star appearance. (Barring a suspension, I mean)

I also voted for Bryce Harper, though who knows if his balky knee will permit him to play in the Game.

Overall, these standings are pretty sketchy. Justin Upton does NOT deserve a starting spot (It doesn’t help that  he hasn’t hit a homer since May 17th, either) and Shin-Soo Choo is a reserve too, in my eyes. Neither Gregor Blanco, nor Angel Pagan (Goddammit, Giants fans!), nor Matt Kemp and especially not B.J. Upton deserve to be All-Stars. And for fuck’s sake, can somebody show Carlos Gomez and Carlos Gonzalez some love, already?

Well, that`s all until the next ballot update. Expect to see either a in-depth analysis of the Korean Crisis or a love letter to Ramon Ortiz next.