Post-Game(s) Reaction: ALDS Games 3, NLDS

Oh come on, not again!!!

Nope. No blurb today. Let’s just get this over with, I’ve got Gotham, Flash and Korra reviews to get through.

This is what I get for actually writing semi-consistently, I guess.

ALDS GAME 3: LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM @ KANSAS CITY ROYALS

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

Royals Hitter: Nori Aoki (3 Hits in 3 At-bats, 2 Runs, 1 RBI, 1 Walk)

Munenori Kawasaki dances. Just sayin’.

Royals Pitcher: James Shields (6 Innings Pitched, 6 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 2 Walks, 6 Strikeouts)

James Shields erased any memory of his bad start in the Wild Card Game by reminding everyone why his nickname is “Big Game James” (Actually, it’s because all the good nicknames have been taken).

2nd Royals Hitter: Eric Hosmer (1 Hit in 3 At-bats, 1 Run, 2 RBI, 1 Walk)

Eric Hosmer put up a whopping 2.083 OPS to play a big part in- JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!?!?!?

Royals Clutch Relievers: N/A (Not close enough of a game)

Angels Hitter: Erick Aybar (4 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 2B)

The Angels’ 8-3 loss never looked particularly close after the first inning, but that sure wasn’t Aybar’s fault, as he got a hit in each of his four plate appearances. Too bad every hitter after him in the lineup (The 6 through 9 spots) went 0 for 14.

Angels Pitcher: N/A

C.J….Buddy…What happened out there???

Angles Clutch Relievers: N/A

ALDS GAME 3: BALTIMORE ORIOLES @ DETROIT TIGERS

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

Orioles Hitter: Nelson Cruz (2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Run, 2 RBI, 1 HR)

Nelson Cruz has made everybody who shied away from his PED-label look like a damn fool this postseason. He’s plated 5 out of the 21 (24%) runs that the Orioles have scored so far.

Orioles Pitcher: Bud Norris (6 1/3 Innings Pitched, 2 Hits, Shutout, 2 Walks, 6 Strikeouts)

If you would have told me before the playoffs hat Bud Norris would outduel David Price, I would have… Well, actually, stranger things have happened, so I guess I wouldn’t have laughed in your face. The smart money was definitely on Price, though.

 2nd Orioles Pitcher: Andrew Miller (1 2/3 Innings Pitched, o Hits, 0 Earned Runs, 0 Walks, 0 Strikeouts)

That’s attractive. Seriously though, Miller’s been wonderful, hasn’t he?

Orioles Clutch Reliever: Andrew Miller

Tigers Hitter: N/A

Tigers Pitcher: David Price (8 Innings Pitched, 5 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 2 Walks, 6 Strikeouts)

A statline like that should really be enough on most days with the Tigers’ lineup backing you up. Too bad Game 3 wasn’t most days.

Tigers Clutch Reliever: Joe Nathan

NLDS: SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS VS WASHINGTON NATIONALS

Giants Hitters: Joe Panik (Game 1: 2 Hits in 5 At-bats, 1 Run, 1 RBI) Brandon Belt (Game 2: 1 Hit in 7 At-bats, 1 HR, 1 Run, 1 RBI) Game 3: N/A, Joe Panik (Game 4:2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Run, 1 RBI)

He was really terrible in games 2 and three, but the rookie second baseman quietly made the difference in the first and final games.

Giants Pitchers: Jake Peavy (Game 1: 5 2/3 Innings, 2 Hits, Shutout, 3 Walks, 3 Strikeouts) Yusmeiro Petit (Game 2: 6 Innings, 1 Hit, Shutout, 3 Walks, 7 Strikeouts)  Madison Bumgarner (Game 3: 7 Innings, 6 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 1 Walk, 6 Strikeouts) Ryan Vogelsong (5 2/3 Innings Pitched, 2 Hits, 1  Earned Run, 2 Walks, 4 Strikeouts)

I could have easily gone with Tim Hudson for game 2, but then I realized that every time the ball came out of Petit’s hand, the game could have been lost. THAT’S a save, right there.

2nd Giants Pitchers: Tim Hudson (Game 2: 7 1/3 Innings, 7 Hits, 1 Earned Run, 0 Walks, 8 Strikeouts),  

Giants Clutch Relievers: Jeremy Affeldt, Sergio Romo, Santiago Casilla (Game 1), Jean Machi, Javier Lopez, Sergio Romo, Jeremy Affeldt, Santiago Casilla, Yusmeiro Petit, Hunter Strickland (Game 2) N/A (Game 3), Javier Lopez, Sergio Romo, Santiago Casilla (Game 4)

Nationals Hitters: Bryce Harper (Game 1: 2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Home run, 1 Run, 1 RBI) Anthony Rendon (Game 2: 4 Hits in 7 At-bats, 1 RBI, 1 Walk) Bryce Harper (Game 3: 1 Hit in 3 At-bats, 1 Home run, 2 Runs, 1 RBI, 1 Walk) Bryce Harper (Game 4: 2 Hits in 3 At-bats, 1 Double, 1 Home run, 1 Run, 2 RBI, 1 Walk)

3 home runs in 4 games is pretty fucking great. What more do you want me to say?

Nationals Pitchers: Stephen Strasburg (Game 1: 5 Innings Pitched, 8 Hits, 1 Earned Run, 1 Walk, 2 Strikeouts) Jordan Zimmermann (Game 2: 8 2/3 Innings, 3 Hits,  1 Earned Run, 1 Walk, 6 Strikeouts) Doug Fister (Game 3: 7 Innings Pitched, 4 Hits, Shutout, 3 Walks, 3 Strikeouts) N/A (Game 4)

Coming off a no-hitter, Jordan Zimmermann nearly had a complete game under his belt, but coughed up the lead, where the Giants eventually won it in extra innings.

Nationals Clutch Relievers: Jerry Blevins, Matt Thornton, Tyler Clippard (Game 1) Tyler Clippard, Matt Thornton, Jerry Blevins, Craig Stammen, Rafael Soriano, Tanner Roark (Game 2) Tyler Clippard (Game 3) Jerry Blevins, Rafael Soriano (Game 4)

NLDS: ST. LOUIS CARDINALS VS LOS ANGELES DODGERS

Cardinals Hitters: Matt Carpenter (Game 1: 2 Hits in 5 At-bats, 1 Double, 1 Home run, 2 Runs, 4 RBI) Matt Carpenter (Game 2: 2 Hits in 3 At-bats, 1 Home run, 1 Run, 2 RBI) Matt Carpenter (Game 3: 2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Home Run, 1 Run, 1 RBI) Matt Adams (Game 4: 1 Hit in 3- At-bats, 1 Home run, 1 Run, 3 RBI)

Matt Carpenter: Apparently the second coming of Babe Ruth. Who woulda thunk it?

Cardinals Pitchers: Marco Gonzales (Game 1: 1 Inning, 1 Hit, 0 Earned runs, 0 Walks, 0 Strikeouts), Lance Lynn (Game 2: 6 Innings, 7 Hits, 2 Earned runs, 2 Walks, 8 Strikeouts) John Lackey ( Game 3: 7 Innings, 5 hits, 1 Earned run, 1 Walk, 8 Strikeouts) Shelby Miller (Game 4: 5 2/3 Innings, 5 Hits, 2 Earned runs, 3 Walks, 4 Strikeouts) 

It’s official: I’m sick and tired of John Lackey.

 2nd Cardinals Hitter: Matt Holliday (Game 1: 2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Home run, 2 Runs, 3 RBI)

Actually, I’m pretty sick of the Cardinals in general.

Cardinals Clutch Relievers: Seth Maness, Marco Gonzales, Pat Neshek (Game 1)

Dodgers Hitters: A.J. Ellis (Game 1: 4 Hits in 5 At-bats, 1 Home run, 3 Runs, 2 RBI), Matt Kemp (Game 2: 2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Home run, 1 Run, 1 RBI)

On a team composed of stars like Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Adrian Gonzalez and Hanley Ramirez, A.J. Ellis ws the top offensive performer. Go figure.

Dodgers Pitchers: Zack Greinke (Game 2: 7 Inning, Shutout, 2 Hits, 2 Walks, 7 Strikeouts)  Hyun-jin Ryu (Game 3: 6 Innings, 1 Earned run, 5 Hits, 1 Walk, 4 Strikeouts) 

Sure, Greinke can pitch, but the man can hit as well!

Dodgers Clutch Relievers: Scott Elbert, J.P. Howell, Brandon League (Game 1) Brandon League, Kenley Jansen (Game 2) Pedro Baez, Brandon League (Game 4)

 

 

Post-Game(s) Reaction: ALDS Games 1&2- Kansas City @ Los Angeles / Detroit @ Baltimore

Royals first baseman Eric Hosmer, seen here seconds away from biting Salvador Perez’s face off.

Suddenly, the American League Division Series just got a whole lot more predictable, as both the Kansas City Royals and the Baltimore Orioles are one win away from heading to the League Championship, thanks to late-inning heroics from Mike Moustakas of the Royals and, well, the entire Orioles offence save for Adam Jones and Nick Hundley in Game 1, and Eric Hosmer of the Royals and Delmon Young of the Orioles in Game 2.

The two series have been  different in the respect that while the Orioles and Tigers games have been characterized by timely offensive outbursts (Mainly by the O’s, obviously) the Royals and Angels pitching staffs have mostly held the other team in check, thanks to great performances from Jason Vargas, Yordano Ventura, Jered Weaver and Matt Shoemaker, and solid relief, which was seen as a weakness of the Angels prior to the playoffs. It still is, really, but hey, they’ve done well until extra innings. As long as someone in their offense not named Kole Calhoun can make literally anything happen, they stand at least a minor shot at maybe winning the next three games.

If you’re betting money on that happening though, you’re either very brave, or very, very, very stupid.

I’m  little less hard on the Detroit Tigers, as their rotation is still really good (Even if Scherzer and Verlander underperformed) and their offense is hitting… Just not as much as the Orioles. Also, their bullpen (Aside from Anibal Sanchez) has been just the worst, with an ERA well over twenty. FUCKING TWENTY.

PLAYER(S) OF THE GAME(S):

Orioles Hitters: Nelson Cruz (Game 1: 2 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Home Run, 2 Runs, 3 RBI) Delmon Young (Game 2: 1 Hit in 1 At-bat, 1 Double, 3 RBI)

October is the time of the year when the baseball world takes the time to remember that Delmon Young still exists. And holy shit does he ever exist in a big way for the Orioles.

Orioles Pitchers: Andrew Miller (Game 1: 1 2/3 Innings Pitched, 0 Hits, 0 Earned Runs, 1 Walk, 3 Strikeouts) Kevin Gausman (Game 2: 3 2/3 Innings Pitched, 3 Hits, 1 Earned Run, 1 Walk, 5 Strikeouts)

Kevin Gausman, the young, donut-loving hurler from Colorado, outperformed his predecessor, a horribly out-of-form Wei-Yin Chen, to hold the powerful Tigers offense to a mere 1 run over almost 4 innings.

2nd Orioles Pitcher: Chris Tillman (Game 1: 5 Innings Pitched, 4 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 1 Walk, 6 Strikeouts) 

I would’ve preferred a 6-inning outing, which is why I ended up giving the “Pitcher of Game 1” title to Andrew Miller, the reliever, but hey, Tillman was pretty great as well.

Orioles Clutch Relievers: Andrew Miller (Game 1), Kevin Gausman, Brad Brach, Zach Britton (Game 2)

Tigers Hitters: N/A (Game 1) J.D. Martinez (Game 2: 1 Hit in 4 At-bats, 1 Home Run, 1 Run, 3 RBI)

Former Houston Astros reject J.D. Martinez has driven in 4 of the 9 Tigers runs in this series with his two home runs. He gave the boys from Detroit a lead in Game 2 with a 3-run blast, but then their bullpen happened.

 Tigers Pitchers: N/A (Game 1) Anibal Sanchez (2 Innings Pitched, 0 Hits, 0 Earned Runs, 0 Walks, 2 Strikeouts)

Sanchez has literally been the only Tigers pitcher to escape the first two games with a good statline.

Tigers Clutch Relievers: Anibal Sanchez (Game 2)

Royals Hitters: Mike Moustakas (Game 1: 1 Hit in 3 At-bats, 1 Home Run, 2 Runs, 1 RBI) Eric Hosmer (Game 2: 3 Hits in 4 At-bats, 1 Home Run, 2 Runs, 2 RBI) 

I could have just as easily gone with “Every KC runner to get on base in these playoffs.”

Royals Pitchers: Jason Vargas (Game 1: 6 Innings Pitched, 3 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 1 Walk, 2 Strikeouts) Yordano Ventura (Game 2: 7 Innings Pitched, 5 Hits, 1 Earned Run, 1 Walk, 5 Strikeouts)

“You put your right leg in, you put your right leg out, you put your right leg in and you shake it all about…”

Royals Clutch Relievers: Brandon Finnegan, Wade Davis, Tim Collins, Jason Frasor, Danny Duffy, Greg Holland (Game 1) Wade Davis, Jason Frasor, Brandon Finnegan, Greg Holland (Game 2)

Angels Hitters: N/A

Angels Pitchers: Jered Weaver (Game 1: 7 Innings Pitched, 3 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 2 Walks, 6 Strikeouts) Matt Shoemaker (Game 2: 6 Innings Pitched, 5 Hits, 0 Earned Runs, 0 Walks, 6 Strikeouts)

Grrr!!!

Angels Clutch Relievers: Joe Smith, Huston Street, Kevin Jepsen (Game 1) Jason Grilli, Joe Smith, Huston Street (Game 2)  

American League West Predictions

(Looking for my NL West preview? Here it is!)

“Oh cool, a helicopter!” -Jose Altuve, probably

5. Houston Astros 

 2013 Record: 51-111 (5th in division)

Manager: Bo Porter (2nd season as mansger, 51-111 career record)

General manager: Jeff Luhnow

Home field: Minute Maid Park

So what’s good?: Bupkiss.

Just kidding. There isn’t any reason for Astros fans to commit mass suicide yet. While this team has absolutely no hope of a winning record, much less making the playoffs, this season, there still are reasons to head to Minute Maid Park in 2014. For one, the big league team, despite barely being better than most AAA teams, has some solid talent in young players such as Jason Castro, Jose Altuve, Dexter Fowler, Chris Carter, Matt Dominguez, Jarred Cosart, Brett Oberholtzer and L.J. Hoes. None of these guys are superstars, obviously, but as a young core group of players, you could do worse.

And lest we forget that the Astros have the best farm system in the game, the beneficiaries of a bunch of good drafts. George Springer, Domingo Santana and Jonathan Singleton are all knocking on the door of the big league club, and Carlos Correa, Mark Appel and Mike Foltynewicz should all be factors way down the line.

Sounds great, but what sucks?: What could I possibly say about the Astros’ chances this year that hasn’t already been said?

Team Grade: D

Insert “99 Problems”joke here.

4. Seattle Mariners

 2013 Record: 71-91 (4th in division)

 Manager: Lloyd McClendon (6th season as manager (1st with Mariners) 336-446 career record)

 General manager: Jack Zdurienczik

 Home field: Safeco Field

 So, what’s good?: If there’s one nice thing to say about the Seattle Mariners, it’s that their rotation is very impressive. Felix Hernandez, of course is a wonderful pitcher, and should contend for the Cy Young Award, but often overlooked is Japanese hurler Hisashi Iwakuma, who was arguably even better than Hernandez last year. When you factor in the arrivals of prospects Taijuan Walker and Canadian lefty James Paxton, you have what could potentially be a great rotation on your hands.

There are some bright spots in this lineup as well, such as the highly underrated third-baseman, Kyle Seager, highly-touted catching prospect Mike Zunino and, of course, the highest profile signing of the offseason, Yankee expat Robinson Cano, probably the best second baseman in the game and a probable MVP candidate.

Sounds great, but what sucks?: Remember how I said how great the M’s rotation was? Well, that was before Walker and Iwakuma got hurt and became doubtful to not miss the start of the season and the rotation was depleted to Hernandez, Paxton and such superstars as Erasmo Ramirez and Blake Beavan. Add what looks to be, even with the addition of Fernando Rodney, a very thin bullpen (Although Rodney’s in decline, anyways) and you have a recipe for a ton of runs allowed, at least until the starting pitching gets healthy.

And the starting lineup doesn’t inspire much confidence either. Aside from Seager and Cano, most of the hitters are either mediocre (Justin Smoak, Logan Morrison, Michael Saunders, Dustin Ackley) or unproven (Zunino, Brad Miller). And holy shit, why would you pay $6 million dollars to Corey Hart? I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I’m even more sure he hasn’t played in a major league baseball game since the end of the 2012 season. And while I may not be the best judge of managers, Lloyd McClendon’s poor record with the Pirates from 2001-05 isn’t that impressive.

Team Grade: C-

Admit it. You thought Bryce Harper was gonna be the next big thing too.

 3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

 2013 record: 78-84 (3rd in division)

 Manager: Mike Scioscia (15th season as manager, 1233-1035 career record)

 General manager:Jerry Dipoto

 Home field: Angel Stadium of Anaheim

 So what’s good?: Any discussion about the strong points of the Angels has to begin and end with Mike Trout, the best all-around player in MLB bar none. He probably should have won MVP awards the last two seasons (Although it’d be hard to make an argument against Miguel Cabrera) and has to be considered the favourite to win the big prize this year, even if his team doesn’t make the playoffs.

 Another point in the Angels favour is the improved starting rotation, which was just plain rancid last year. Jered Weaver should be excellent, as long as he stays healthy, C.J. Wilson is a very good pitcher, although he is criminally overpaid, and Garrett Richards and Hector Santiago are some nice young talent. And let’s not forget about Tyler Skaggs, whom they acquired from the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Sounds great, but what sucks?: I have a feeling that Albert Pujols and Josh Hamilton are going to rebound a bit this year, but I’m also quite sure that a) neither are going to be elite players ever again and b) even that slight rebound will not be enough to justify the inhuman amount of money that they’re being awarded in 2014 or going to be awarded way down the line. These idiotic contracts may turn out to be the reason that the Angels may not be able to afford to lock up Mike Trout before he becomes a free agent in 2018.

Team Grade: B-

 

Just let them move to San Jose already! That’s fucking disgusting!

2. Oakland Athletics

2013 record: 96-66 (1st in division)

Manager: Bob Melvin (11th season as manager (4th with A’s) 730-694 career record (237-186 with A’s))

General manager: Billy Beane

Home field: O.co Coliseum

So what’s good?: The good news is, aside from the recent injuries to their starting rotation, the A’s don’t really have a discernible weakness. The bullpen looks great, as seems to be the norm in Oakland, even if I maintain that Jim Johnson is highly overrated, and there isn’t a single bad player on the starting lineup. Sure, one could complain that there’s no real superstar, but who could really complain about a 1-2-3-4-5 of Coco Crisp, Josh Donaldson, Jed Lowrie, Yoenis Cespedes and Brandon Moss?

Sounds great, but what sucks?: The young A’s rotation has, unfortunately for my second-favourite team, fallen prey to injuries. Jarrod Parker is going to miss the season because of Tommy John surgery and A.J. Griffin is going to miss the first few weeks of the regular season with elbow tendinitis. I suppose you could ask for a worse rotation than Sonny Gray, Scott Kazmir, Dan Straily, Tommy Milone and Jesse Chavez, but it could still cost them some serious ground.

Team grade: B+

Catcher J.P. Arencibia posing for his first Texas Rangers headshot. Or hiding from irate Blue Jays fans. Either would be applicable.

1. Texas Rangers

2013 record: 91-72 (2nd in division)

Manager: Ron Washington (8th season as manager, 611-524 career record)

General Manager: Jon Daniels

Home field: Globe Life Park in Arlington

So what’s good?: No intelligent pitching staff wouldn’t shudder in fear upon glancing at the Rangers’ lineup. It’s a nice mix of 20-20 candidates (Alex Rios, Shin-Soo Choo) elite hitters (Adrian Beltre, Prince Fielder) speedsters (Elvis Andrus, Leonys Martin) and even a couple of strikeout-prone sluggers (J.P. Arencibia, Mitch Moreland), you know, to lull opponents into a false sense of security until they get hot. Or something.

To compliment this beast of a lineup, the Rangers have a good bullpen, led by Joakim Soria, Alexi Ogando, Neal Cotts and Jason Frasor among others, a good rotation, once healthy, and the great management skills of Ron Washington backing them up.

Sounds great, but what sucks?: What with all the injuries to the A’s pitching staff, I would  have had Texas as the clear favourite to win the division… Until 60% of their rotation was struck down by the injury bug.

Yu Darvish and Matt Harrison are likely to miss a few starts at the beginning of the season, and Derek Holland will be out ’till mid-season.  Until they return, their rotation will likely consist of Martin Perez (A very good young starter), Tanner Scheppers (Who has a previous career high of seven starts in the minors), Robbie Ross (Hasn’t started a game since since 2011, in the minors), Joe Saunders (5.26 ERA in 2013) and Nick Martinez (Who the hell is Nick Martinez). Also, second baseman Jurickson Profar will miss a whole bunch of time in the beginning of the year. Other than that though, I don’t see why the Rangers shouldn’t compete this year.

Team Grade: A-

To be continued…

AL All-Star Ballot Update!

Let the popularity contest begin!

The All-Star voting campaigns have been upon us for a while, and the rampant ballot stuffing has already begun! For those of us who actually want to see a good, competitive All-Star Game with deserving, not necessarily popular players, this can be an especially painful time of the season. But hey, maybe I`m just not laid-back enough to accept an injured Derek Jeter at shortstop.

The All-Star Game: A magical time of year where all the players voted in are magically healed up so they can play. Of course, by “all the players”, I mean “the New York Yankees.”

But hey, who am I to overthrow a democratic system? I`ll be damned if I don`t still vote for the ASG every year. And I don`t just ballot stuff for my Blue Jays every year either. (Though at this point, who would?)  I believe that each league should field its best players, no matter how unpopular, unattractive, or NL East-y they are.

Today, MLB.com released the first ballot update. Here`s my knee jerk reaction to the races at each position.

CATCHER:

1. Joe Mauer, Twins: 863,450
2. Matt Wieters, Orioles: 715,055
3. Carlos Santana, Indians: 547,873
4. A.J. Pierzynski, Rangers: 510,434
5. Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Red Sox: 331,344

This list actually isn’t that bad. While I don`t think that Wieters or Saltalamacchia are All-Stars, Joe Mauer is by far the best candidate for the starting job. Santana and Pierzynski would be my second and third choices, should Mauer get injured.

FIRST BASE
1. Chris Davis, Orioles: 1,176,016
2. Prince Fielder, Tigers: 1,059,300
3. Mike Napoli, Red Sox: 380,448
4. Albert Pujols, Angels: 374,538
5. Mitch Moreland, Rangers: 371,806

Thank GOD. I was worried that Chris Davis would be forgotten. Yes, I, too think that Davis is currently the best option at the not-so-hot corner.  Two complaints though: 1) Prince Fielder has not justified being that close behind, and 2) What the HELL is Albert Pujols doing here when Adam Lind is hitting .323?

SECOND BASE
1. Robinson Cano, Yankees: 1,235,230
2. Ian Kinsler, Rangers: 656,827
3. Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox: 642,419
4. Omar Infante, Tigers: 417,333
5. Brian Roberts, Orioles: 291,756

Robbie Cano takes second base, easy. The only thing stopping him from being a 5-Tool player is his lack of good speed.

Kinsler, Pedroia and Infante are all viable backup candidates, though I`m puzzled as to what exactly Brian Roberts is doing in the Top 5 instead of Jose Altuve or Howard Kendrick.

THIRD BASE
1. Miguel Cabrera, Tigers: 1,500,165
2. Manny Machado, Orioles: 723,943
3. Adrian Beltre, Rangers: 600,271
4. Evan Longoria, Rays: 454,047
5. Kevin Youkilis, Yankees: 235,388

Poor Manny Machado. If only the only thing blocking his way to having an All-Star start to his excellent season wasn’t the best hitter in the known universe.

Anyways, no complaints here except for Kevin Youkillis over Kyle Seager.

SHORTSTOP
1. Elvis Andrus, Rangers: 727,555
2. J.J. Hardy, Orioles: 717,103
3. Jhonny Peralta, Tigers: 540,581
4. Jed Lowrie, Athletics: 523,743
5. Derek Jeter, Yankees: 380,445

Alright, what the FUCK, fellow fans? Elvis Andrus? Seriously? The man has an OPS of .626! Granted, stats aren’t always the be-all-end-all, but in this case, it should be! .626!

And Derek Jeter? What?! I love the guy as much as the next fan, but Come ON! He hasn`t even played a game this season, and 380, 000 people want him to start at shortstop! Jetes does not need to have a perfect All-Star attendance record. He`s a fucking baseball player. Baseball players get hurt. If they`re hurt, they miss All-Star Games. Deal with it.

And would everybody please give a little more love to Jhonny Peralta? Jesus Christ…

OUTFIELD
1. Mike Trout, Angels: 1,190,676
2. Adam Jones, Orioles: 1,181,875
3. Torii Hunter, Tigers: 761,937
4. Nelson Cruz, Rangers: 712,320
5. Jose Bautista, Blue Jays: 653,475
6. Nick Markakis, Orioles: 595,698
7. Nate McLouth, Orioles: 559,751
8. Alex Gordon, Royals: 522,483
9. Jacoby Ellsbury, Red Sox: 473,877
10. Josh Hamilton, Angels: 404,597
11. Austin Jackson, Tigers: 400,019
12. Yoenis Cespedes, Athletics: 395,475
13. Coco Crisp, Athletics: 392,202
14. Shane Victorino, Red Sox: 341,733
15. Ichiro Suzuki, Yankees: 337,654

As you may or may not know, I am a huge Jays fan. (Judging by the amount of people who read this article, you probably didn,t know. Read it. It’s good.) This is the only list that has a Jay on it, and I gotta say, I`m kinda dissapointed with the fact that he`s only in fifth. Jose Bautista has been really, really good this year (Padres series notwithstanding) and definitely merits an All-Star start, in my book. I also voted for Mike Trout and Alex Gordon, who I`m surprised to see is so low on the list, under Torii Hunter, Nelson Cruz, and Nate McLouth (!!!). Ellsbury, Hamilton, Jackson, Cespedes, Victorino, and especially Ichiro do NOT deserve to be here.

DESIGNATED HITTER
1. David Ortiz, Red Sox: 1,045,283
2. Lance Berkman, Rangers: 672,547
3. Mark Reynolds, Indians: 452,708
4. Mark Trumbo, Angels: 376,574
5. Victor Martinez, Tigers: 340,967

Why oh why must you anger me so, baseball fans? Sure, David Ortiz deserves first place, and I voted for him, but MARK REYNOLDS over Mark Trumbo (Whose very last name echoes with power)? And what the hell is Victor Martinez doing on this list? What makes me most angry is that Edwin Encarnacion is having so, so much more of a better season then Victor Martinez or Reynolds and (arguably) Berkman. And yet, the guy with the 16 home runs and a .260’s aerage is actually perceived to be INFERIOR to the guy with the .599 OPS? This is why we can`t have nice things!

Well, that`s all for today. Prepare have me get even more pissed about the NAtional League tomorrow. That or an article about the life cycle of pop stars. either or.