Kingsman: The Secret Service (Movie Review)

You know, part of me knew that the biggest threat to the world would make a habit of wearing a stylised Yankees cap.

How bizarre is it that on Valentine’s Day weekend, when moviegoing couples are looking for a movie that they can snuggle to/furiously make out to, that the supposed “romantic” movie is glorified Twilight fanfiction that is getting absolutely demolished by the critics, and the superior film is, in fact,  a movie from the director of Kick-Ass that includes forced amputations, profuse swearing, and spontaneous cranial combustion. Funny how that works.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

Produced by: Adam Bohling, David Reed, Matthew Vaughn

Written by: Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn

Genres: Spy, Action, Comedy

Based on: The Secret Service by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons

Starring: Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Strong, Michael Caine, Sophie Cookson, Sofia Boutella, Mark Hamill

Music by: Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson

Plot: Look up a picture definition of  the word “directionless” in the dictionary, and it’s very likely that you’ll find a photo of Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (No word yet on why the bloody hell he’s nicknamed “Eggsy”).  Eggsy, who was raised by his sad sack of a mother after his father was cut down in his prime. Now living in a shitty part of London with his mom, baby sister and thuggish jerkwad of a stepfather, he has flunked out of the Marines, and has done absolutely nothing in the ways of capitalizing on his talent as a gymnast and high intelligence. One day, after his penchant for juvenile delinquency gets him into serious trouble, Eggs meets a mysterious man in an impeccable suit named Harry Hart (Colin Firth) who takes the troubled land under his wing and trains him to be a Kingsman. That is, a member of a British spy organisation who engages ultra-dangerous threats to world security, while also dressed in the most badass way possible: tip to toe in the finest suits known to mankind.

“Well, now that my wardrobe’s settled, time to go murder some terrorists!!!”

 While he doesn’t get as much acclaim or publicity as some of his contemporaries, I believe that Matthew Vaughn is one of the finer writer/directors working today. After his directorial debut in 2004’s Layer Cake, he has gone on to make more solid contributions to movies, including directing of my favourite movies of all time, Kick-Ass, the CPR to a dying franchise (X-Men: First Class) and contributing the storyline to one of my favourite movies of last year, X-Men: Days of Future Past. His appealing blend of snappy dialogue, a often uneven mix of action and comedy, and stylistic, brutal ultraviolence (Toned down for X-Men, obviously) has appealed to many, many people, including yours truly. That’s why I was so hyped for this movie after the early reviews came in.

What was my reaction to the first few minutes of the movie? I don’t know if  I’ve ever been so underwhelmed.

The movie opens with a scene that is so poorly CGI’d that it took me right out of the movie. All of the action takes place off-screen and, all in all, it just feels like a giant cop-out. After that initial scene, the movie does improve, but the whole first act is plagued by pacing problems that were pretty annoying for me. The first act of the movie It wasn’t that bad, but it was certainly pretty off-putting.

Which is too bad, because if it wasn’t for the overly slow first act, this would possibly surpass Kick-Ass as my favourite Matthew Vaughn movie.

Your title is safe, Nicolas Cage/Adam West hybrid.

As unspectacular as the first act is, the middle and end are downright fantastic. At no point did I feel that the movie dragged, and I was genuinely interested and focused on what the characters were doing. Sure, one would have preferred that I feel this way throughout the whole movie, but things being the way they are, I’d say that the ball-busting action and quick pace of the rest of the movie more than makes up for the shortcomings of the first act.

Vaughn has always been a terrific action director, and Kingsman is definitely no exception. While he does use some shaky-cam, a technique that I despise more than anybody, he uses it very well, when it makes sense in the movie, and not purely for some bullshit stylistic purpose. Every action scene in this movie is so well done by the actors and director. It’s not so often that I catch myself replaying action scenes in my head because of their sheer badassery, but this film had me trying to re-enact the damn things at home. I was pretending to be Colin Firth, of all people. Who the hell would’ve thought that???

Probably the same people who thought the coolest character in Kick-Ass would be a ten-year old.

Speaking of Kick-Ass, Henry Jackman does the score for this movie along with Matthew Margeson, and they do just a terrific job. I think the score for Kick-Ass is one of the more unfairly ignored ones, and this movie’s music is even better. Not bad for a guy who made his debut as a film score composer in a straight-to-DVD Kung Fu Panda short film.

The dialogue in this movie, among other things, makes playful fun of the old British spy movies of the 60’s and 70’s, and isn’t afraid to reference them and other movies, frequently making reference to movies as far ranging from 007 to My Fair Lady. Being the Tarantino lover that I am, I can appreciate pop culture references, as long as they seem natural and well-placed. Not hard to do, but it’s done very well here.

Kingsman features a cast of veterans (Firth, Jackson, Strong,Caine, Hamill) that all do very well, although the standout is Firth who, as I mentioned before, is not necessarily one actor that we’d imagine to secretly be a badass action star, but hey, I guess that just goes to show how stupid we all are.

Setting aside, of course, the famous scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary where he brutally decapitates Hugh Grant.

Samuel L. Jackson is gleefully over-the-top as a megalomaniacal Bill Gates/Spike Lee/Jules Winnfield/Whatever his character in Unbroken was, and is honestly really damn entertaining, which, at this point, is par for the course for him. The comparisons to Kick-Ass just keep coming as Mark Strong has a supporting role in this movie, although he’s actually a hero in Kingsman. Shocking, I know, but he’s actually really funny in this role. Michael Caine is always great, and there’s no point to me talking about that, while Mark Hamill has a smaller supporting role. I was kinda anxiously worried for his performance, knowing that his return as Luke Skywalker is fast approaching, but he does a great job as well, although he reminded me more of the Joker than a Jedi. Eh, I’ll take it.

Another great performance comes from Taron Egerton, in his first ever role, as Eggsy. I hope we get to see a lot more of this guy in the future. He just has this aura of charisma about him that seems like it could work to his benefit. Sofia Boutella is another newcomer playing the part of Samuel Jackson’s right-hand woman, and really seems to be channeling Jaws or Oddjob because, well, fucking look at her!!!

Lt. Dan can go fuck himself.

Newcomer Sophie Cookson is also in this movie, and, while her character isn’t as interesting as, say, the girl with cutlery for feet, she’s a perfectly good character. On that somewhat lukewarm note, what didn’t I like about this movie?

Well, as I mentioned before, the first act of the movie is not all that impressive. Also, some of the action, spectacular as it is, hinges on the unrealistic side, but then again, I’d be a damn hypocrite to rag on that after cheering on Hit-Girl massacre a room full of armed adults who can’t aim for shit despite being experienced mobsters. It’s still distracting as hell though. Also, this is more of a pet peeve of mine, but they do that thing where the protagonist cloaks his torso in some form of bulletproof shield while the idiot bad guys don’t think to shoot at his legs. That’s stupid. What are they, cops?

If you need me, I’ll be cowering somewhere.

Also, I find it weird that for all the violence in this movie, there’s little to no blood. There’s actually a scene where somebody gets sliced in half right down the middle, and just about no blood was actually spilled. It’s not a major complaint, but I would’ve liked some more over-the-top, fake looking CGI blood. At least it makes sense in this movie.

Others? Not so much.

Overall: If it wasn’t for a super disappointing first act, this would stand as one of the better spy movies, and a solid contender for one of the better movies of 2015. As it stands though, being a merely great movie ain’t bad. Bring on a sequel, please!

Rating: 8/10

Now, if only Matthew Vaughn could stick around for sequels more often…

The Imitation Game (Movie Review)

As homophobic a society as the UK was in the 40’s, the soldier on the right seems pretty into what he’s doing.

 Sorry that this review took me so long (Almost a month after The Imitation Game‘s wide release, to be exact), but I’ve been super busy with school, what with there being diplomas and midterms to write, and I had to take some time to write about the Oscar ballot, which was…Something else, to say the least.

For all the movies that got screwed over (Selma, The LEGO Movie, Nightcrawler), the Academy did do justice to some of the nominees, and one of the movies that got its just desserts is The Imitation Game, which ended up with eight nominations. Especially poignant considering both the new age in technology and the turning point in the LGBT rights movement that we’re currently experiencing right now.

As well as the equally influential “Cumberbitch” movement.

 The Imitation Game

 Directed by: Morten Tyldum

 Produced by: Nora Grossman, Ido Ostrowsky, Teddy Schwarzman

 Written by: Graham Moore

 Genre: Thriller, historical drama

 Based on: Alan Turing: The Enigma by Andrew Hodges

 Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Mark Strong,  Charles Dance, Allen Leech, Matthew Beard, Rory Kinnear

 Music by: Alexandre Desplat

Plot: World War II is in full swing, and, unfortunately, the good guys are kinda getting their asses kicked by the Nazis. Thanks to a highly sophisticated encryption code known as Enigma, the Germans are getting encrypted messages through to one another right under the Allies’ noses. Tired of the Nazis’ shit, the British recruit top scholars, mathematicians, linguists and such in order to try to break the cursed code. One of the mathematicians recruited by Her Majesty’s Secret Service Or Whatever is Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch), a brilliant man, but also an arrogant, antisocial one, who has to juggle his service to the government with his closeted homosexuality.

“Big deal!” You might say. “Gay people get married all the time today! We love gay people! Why should he fear the government?”

You might say that. If you didn’t know that back in those days in Britain, homosexual activity could be punished with jail time or chemical castration. Not exactly the most accepting environment to Come Out to.

Does Turing and his team decipher the Enigma code? Does Turing’s homosexuality land him in deep trouble with the homophobic British government? WILL THE WORLD FALL UNDER THE THUMB OF HITLER AND HIS JACKBOOTED NAZI THUGS!??!

Spoiler alert. You know, in case you’re stupid.

I know you guys can’t tell, but I just typed 700 words after this point, and then pressed a button by accident and it’s all gone now. This is why I drink. And also why backups are a good idea.

I had a whole rant about how people don’t pay Alan Turing enough respect nowadays, and how instrumental he was in shaping modern society the way he did through his technology (Helping to beat the Nazis, forming the basis for computers and such), but no way I’m retyping it. Watch this movie, and do a little research, and gain a little appreciation for the tragic genius of Alan Turing. And hey, who better to portray the guy then the man who has entranced Sherlock fanboys and fangirls the world over with his charisma and voice of James Earl Jones proportions of awesomeness?

I have a natural disdain for fanbases who give themselves cutesy names in order to give themselves an identity (Maybe Beliebers have just left a bad taste in my mouth), but I’ll be damned if I’m not a Cumberbitch at this point. The dude’s an amazing actor, and his performance in this movie is absolutely no exception. In a lesser year, he would be the frontrunner for the category, but in a year where Michael Keaton decided to resurface solely for the purpose of putting every other actor in the world to shame, Benedizzle Cumber….bizzle will have to settle for a nomination. Wow, I will never put an “izzle” at the end of anybody else’s name ever again.

“I’m not mad, just dissa-okay, no, I’m actually pissed off. Never talk about me again.”

So, Cumberbatch is great. Whatever, you already knew/assumed that. How do all the other actors do? Well, really quite well, actually. Charles Dance is fantastic as a total dick (Although not a historically accurate one, apparently), which one would expect from Tywin Lannister. Matthew Goode and Mark Strong both do real well as Turing’s rival on the team and a MI6 officer, but the supporting cast member who seems to be generating the most buzz is Pirates of the Caribbean alumni and Phantom Menace survivor Keira Knightley, who was also nominated for the supporting actress Oscar. And she does okay. Not badly, to be sure, she does a good job, but compared to the complex, layered portrayal that her co-star, Cumberbatch gives a complex, layered character, Knightley’s just seems a little bit nondescript, especially for a character as interesting as Joan Clarke. That said, I can see the Oscar nomination. Maybe it’s just the Oscar’s hard-on for historical movies, or a sign of the lack of good female roles in movies that there was last year, but I don’t have a hard time swallowing her nomination. I still would’ve preferred to see Emily Blunt for Edge of Tomorrow, though.

For that matter…

For that matter, I can’t really name anything that this movie does poorly, per se. It’s very well directed, it’s extremely well-written and paced, it didn’t feel boring as many historical dramas tend to feel once you hit the one hour mark, and you definitely feel the tension of the mission that the codebreakers feel throughout the movie. I mean, I obviously knew that the Allies won the war at the end, but I was still on the edge of my seat, trying to figure out how exactly they mean to break the code, and the personal life of Alan Turing is one replete with drama and tragedy that will leave you broken-hearted if you have any semblance of a heart. Or whichever part of your brain regulates sadness. I guess anybody has a semblance of a heart, or they’d be dead. It’s four in the morning right now you guys, I’m so goddamn tired.

I guess the only real flaw  is that when you take the focus of the movie away from Cumberbatch (Which isn’t often, admittedly), it kind of becomes not so much the classic historical drama and LGBT Rights movie that it could become in the future and merely a very good movie. The supporting characters are just not that interesting when you take Turing out of the equation. Fortunately, it doesn’t happen often at all, and not enough to detract from this movie’s credentials as one of the best films of 2014.

Overall: A pretty freaking great movie about a really freaking influential human being, The Imitation Game is… Really good you guys? I dunno, it’s five in the morning, I’m going to bed.

Rating: 9/10

Johnny Depp isn’t the only one phoning it in this weekend!!!