(In case you missed the first two entries of my comments on E3, Part 1 can be found here while part 2 can be found here.)
What say we just cut the intro bullshit and get to it?
The Eight Generation Consoles: From Best to Worst
1. Sony’s PlayStation 4
Release Date: Holiday 2013
Well, I think we all saw this coming.
While I don’t care very much for the tech jargon that is thrown around when it comes to video game consoles (Hell, I’m not even sure what RAM is), the PS4 took me completely by surprise. After years of being in fierce competition with (And, let’s face it, losing to) Microsoft, Sony took advantage of Microsoft’s total clusterfuck of an E3 convention and essentially based their entire campaign strategy around making their new platform look better than their competitor.
A strategy that has paid off in the past.
And, well, it WAS better. In pretty much every way. Not only is the PS4 a full one hundred dollars cheaper then the Xbox One, it also has backwards compatibility (Via a cloud-based streaming service called Gaikai. I have no idea what any of that means.) has a motion sensor that is optional and that you can actually turn OFF and probably won’t spy on you as well as the fact that YOU CAN SHARE YOUR FUCKING GAMES WITHOUT PAYING EXTRA!!! HOLY FUCK, IS THAT NOT INCREDIBLE?
The one downside that comes to mind is that you now have to pay for the PlayStation Network. This doesn’t matter too much for me though, since not all of us give too much of a shit about online gaming.
I know, right?
Also, the backwards compatibility will be something of a difficult are for those of us who have no clue how a Cloud based system works. Come, on Sony, get on this!c I want to play Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2!
2. Nintendo’s Wii U
Release Date: November 18, 2012
Believe it or not, I actually considered giving Nintendo first place for a bit. This is not just because of my pro-Nintendo bias. I think the Wii U does a few notable things better then the PS4 and (most certainly) the Xbox One. Specifically, the price and the backwards compatibility. A white Wii U is going for the price of 400$, currently. Also, unlike the PS4 and the Xbox, Nintendo has an easily accessible backwards compatibility system…It just plays your Wii games. Unlike the PS4, which has a cloud based system that I am betting will only be of use to those with PS3 games, and the Xbox, which has, um, nothing.
“Man, why are we taking so much guff in this post?”
However, I decided against it for the sole fact that those aren’t that important in the quality of the system itself.
Nintendo played it low-key this year, going with the apparent campaign slogan of “We may not be as good as PlayStation or as high-profile as the Xbox, but we can wait a few years until Sony and Microsoft destroy each other. Then, we will rule the (Gaming) world!” It appears to be working, judging by this.
“BWAHAHAHAHA!”
Also, Smash Bros. Smash Bros. helps.
Microsoft’s Xbox One
Release Date: November 2013
Oh, wow, where do I even begin?
As I believe I stated above, Microsoft had one disastrous E3. It all started when they revealed their new console, the Xbox One, in May. At first, it looked amazing. It looked like this next console war would be a walk in the park for the Xbox.
But then came the hurricane.
One of the first things pointed out was the fact that the Kinect was both mandatory and it didn’t seem to turn off. This fear was only added upon when Microsoft was revealed to have given private information about it’s users to the US government. I will go ahead and assume that this lost them a substantial amount of customers. The fact that there is no backwards compatibility doesn’t help either.
Then it was revealed that the Xbox One would need internet connection to work. This alienated all the households that can’t afford either internet or Xbox Live. Xbox executive Don Mattrick helpfully suggested here that those who don’t have internet (As well as the US soldiers stationed worldwide that just want to play the goddamn video games when they’re not getting shot at) “stick with the Xbox 360.”
Alienating the poor: A campaign strategy that has NOT payed off.
And finally, my two personal biggest gripes with the console are 1) It doesn’t support used games and 2) if you want to share it with someone, that have to pay for it. Holy shit, how much pot do you have to smoke to make THAT sound like a good idea?
I’m not saying that all’s bad with the console. The motion controls seem to work really well and some of the games look AMAZING. Also, I’m not a fan of mailing death threats to Mattrick or others who worked on the Xbox. These are good people who released a mediocre (At best) console. I have no doubt that in the Ninth Generation of gaming, Microsoft will come back strong.
Until then though, I strongly recommend to leave the Xbox One on the shelves. Let Microsoft learn from their mistakes. Personally, I will be getting a Wii U and a PS4. The PS4 because it’s the best of the three and the Wii U because of Smash Bros.
If only for no other reason than to beat the shit out of that creepy fucking Wii Fit Trainer.
Please Kill the Messenger 