So, what have we learned during the All-Star Break?
- The Home Run Derby is still tons of fun.
- Yoennis Cespedes rules.
- Wherever there is a ballplayer living in the United States who speaks poor English and needs a translator, lowlife rednecks will call him out for “ruining Americas pastime”.
Seen Here: America’s pastime.
4. Prince Fielder is capable of hitting triples. However, in doing so, the resulting tremors usually result in the complete destruction of a small Asian country. Nice knowing you, Singapore.
God forbid he slide.
5. Mariano Rivera is awesome and his last All-Star Game was quite heartwarming. However, if he pulls an un-retirement (Andy Petitte style) let’s all agree not to do that again, okay?
However, the All-Star Break is also a fantastic moment to take stock of the season do far. It’s not the halfway point that everyone keeps calling it for some reason, but who’s got time to calculate half of 162?
“Fuck math! From now on, dealing crack is the life for me!”
So, here are the current standings and my predictions for the major award winners and division/league/World Series champions.
AL EAST
My Pre-Season Prediction:
- Toronto Blue Jays
- Tampa Bay Rays (Wild Card)
- Baltimore Orioles
- New York Yankees
- Boston Red Sox
Current Standings:
- Boston Red Sox (58-39)
- Tampa Bay Rays (55-41, Wild Card)
- Baltimore Orioles (53-43)
- New York Yankees (51-44)
- Toronto Blue Jays (45-49)
Well, this division is stacked.
Biggest Surprise: That would be the Red Sox who, in the wake of the tragic Boston Bombings, have been exceptionally good even after injuries to Clay Bucholz and Joel Hanrahan, putting together a great (Likeable!) team. While it’s kinda tough to determine what exactly made this team click, I’m pretty sure it was getting Alfredo Aceves to fuck right on off to AAA that relaxed the mood.
And to think it took the Canadian national team to kick his ass before…
Biggest Disappointment: Well fuck, I don’t really need to say it, do I?
Alright, fine. The biggest disappointments are my beloved Toronto Blue Jays. As it turns out, assembling a whole shitload of talent and throwing them onto a baseball field isn’t always the way to go.
On the positive side, we didn’t take the Marlins logo along with Emilio Bonifacio.
MVP: Dustin Pedroia, 2B, Red Sox
I will probably get brutalized for not picking Chris Davis (Or not, considering how much people read my blog) and for picking a Red Sox when I am a Certifies Red Sox Nation Hater, but goddammit, I LIKE Dustin Pedroia! A .316 Batting Average and excellent fielding don’t hurt, either.
Cy Young: Clay Bucholz, Red Sox
Even with his recent DL stint, Bucholz was leaps and bounds over any other AL East pitcher in the first half.
Rookie of the Year: Jose Iglesias, Red Sox
After a (Very) unimpressive cup of coffee in 2012, Iglesias got himself a starting job this year, with both Will Middlebrooks and Stephen Drew on the DL, and has run with it so far, hitting .367 in 180 At-Bats while playing excellent defense.
My All-Star Break Prediction:
- Boston Red Sox (98-64)
- Tampa Bay Rays (95-67, Wild Card)
- Baltimore Orioles (93-69, Wild Card)
- New York Yankees (81-81)
- Toronto Blue Jays (79-83)
AL CENTRAL
My Pre-Season Prediction:
- Detroit Tigers
- Kansas City Royals
- Chicago White Sox
- Cleveland Indians
- Minnesota Twins
Current Standings:
- Detroit Tigers (52-42)
- Cleveland Indians (51-44)
- Kansas City Royals (43-49)
- Minnesota Twins (39-53)
- Chicago White Sox (37-55)
Biggest Surprise: Cleveland Indians
The Indians have beat the odds by proving that you can stay over .500 despite having an aged, 250 pound Jason Giambi on your team.
Biggest Disappointment:
Fuck, I dunno. The White Sox, I guess? Truth be told, I just really wanna get to the AL West.
MVP: Miguel Cabrera, Tigers
Well duh.
Cy Young: Max Scherzer
I don’t take too much stock in wins and losses, mainly because they’re bullshit, but thirteen straight wins is nothing to thumb your nose at.
Rookie of the Year: David Lough
Who? David Lough? Really? Fuck it, okay, let’s roll with it.
My All-Star Predictions:
- Detroit Tigers (93-69)
- Cleveland Indians (87-75)
- Kansas City Royals (69-93)
- Minnesota Twins (69-93)
- Chicago White Sox (61-101)
Lessons Learned: 1. The Detroit Tigers don’t have to do too much to win this division and 2. The White Sox suck pretty bad.
AL WEST
My Pre-Season Predictions:
- Los Angeles Angels
- Oakland Athletics
- Texas Rangers
- Seattle Mariners
- Houston Astros
Current Standings:
- Oakland Athletics (56-39)
- Texas Rangers (54-41, Wild Card)
- Los Angeles Angels (44-49)
- Seattle Mariners (43-52)
- Houston Astros (33-61)
Biggest Surprise: N/A
There haven’t been many positive surprises in this division. The A’s and Rangers have been as good as expected, and the Mariners and Astros have both been bad and terrible, respectively.
Biggest Dissapointment: Los Angeles Angels
It just wasn’t a very good offseason to spend big, huh?
MVP: Mike Trout, Los Angeles Angels
He probably should have won MVP last year, but Superfish (A nickname that I really want to have catch on) hasn’t ;et his lack of a trophy slow him down. He may be the best all-around player in the game at the age of 22.
Cy Young: Hisashi Iwakuma, Seattle Mariners
His fellow countryman Yu Darvish gets most of the credit (And he is really, really good) so it’s easy to forget that Iwakuma has been just as or almost as good in his Big League Career. It was almost a tie, but I went with Iwakuma for the reason that he has played more games than Darvish.
Rookie of the Year: Nick Franklin, Seattle Mariners
With all due respect to Nick Franklin… I think the AL West might have blown their prospect wad last year with Trout and Cespedes.
Damn you, Superfish, you ruin everything!!!
My All-Star Predictions:
- Oakland Athletics (99-63)
- Texas Rangers (91-71)
- Seattle Mariners (77-85)
- Los Angeles Angels (73-89)
- Houston Astros (53-109)
Yeah, I’m feeling the A’s. The Angels, not so much.
AL AWARDS
Manager of the Year: John Farrell, Red Sox
I hate this motherfucker. He openly stabbed the Jays in the back and half-assed it in 2012 after not getting his dream job that year instead of when his contract was up. Not that he did a great job managing the team anyways, but still.
That said, raise your hand if you thought the Sox would be a great team this year.
No you didn’t, you fucking liar.
Rookie of the Year: Jose Iglesias, Red Sox
Cy Young Award: Max Scherzer, Tigers
I may reconsider if Clay Bucholz stays excellent when he comes back from his injury.
MVP: Miguel Cabrera, Tigers
Mike Trout may have deserved it last year, but this year, it’s all Miggy.
Tune back in soon for the National League and my playoff picks.
Please Kill the Messenger 