Battle of the Superhero Film Franchises!!! (Part 2-Lists n’ Shit)

(This is a continuation of this post.)

In my ongoing search for the most overall successful superhero franchise, I have already laid out the franchises vying for the title. Now, I will rank them from worst to first in five categories. I promise not to do a Part 3, not only because I already do it way too much, but also because that is lazy as hell.   Oh, and by the way, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

So, anyways…

CRITICAL RECEPTION 

(This is defined by the average critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes for a film from the franchise)

(Also, I did not include The Amazing Spider-Man, Man of Steel or Kick-Ass, since I decided that having franchises with only one released movie skewed the rankings.)

  1. The Dark Knight-89%
  2. Hellboy-84%
  3. Spider-Man-82%
  4. Marvel Cinematic Universe -80%
  5. X-Men-69
  6. Superman-58%
  7. Batman-51%
  8. Blade-47%
  9. Fantastic Four-32%
  10. Ghost Rider-22%

So, what have we learned?

Mainly that a) Critics love Christopher Nolan as long as Zack Snyder stays the hell away. B) It’s easy to have one or two bad movies drag your score down (X-Men, Superman and Batman) and c) Nicolas Cage is pretty much persona non grata as a leading man in any movie he so much as glances at.

Unless he dies violently. Then, all’s good.

AUDIENCE RECEPTION

(Ditto, but with the Rotten Tomatoes Audience ratings.)

  1. The Dark Knight-91%
  2. Marvel Cinematic Universe-79%
  3. X-Men-78%
  4. Blade-71%
  5. Hellboy-67%
  6. Spider-Man-67%
  7. Superman-54%
  8. Fantastic Four-53%
  9. Batman-52%
  10. Ghost Rider-43%

So, what have we learned?

A) There is nothing redeemably good about Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four and B) My system is broken if Blade can finish above Soider-Man, but eh, fuck it. We learn from our mistakes, right?

Er, right….

PROFITS PER MOVIE 

(You don’t really need an explanation for this, do you? (I didn’t include profits for The Wolverine, because it’s too soon to say for sure).

  1. Spider-Man-$633,115,506
  2. The Dark Knight-$624, 939, 468
  3. Marvel Cinematic Universe-$544,283,685
  4. Fantastic Four-$389, 627, 482$
  5. Blade-$251, 098, 928
  6. Batman- $228, 226, 886
  7. X-Men-$213, 019, 524
  8. Ghost Rider- $97, 151, 160
  9. Superman-$81,690,123
  10. Hellboy- $54, 353,525

What have we learned?

Mainly that box offices are the place where mediocre movies can shine and where good movies can suck.

Pacific Rim FilmPoster.jpeg

With a profit of just over $30 million, Pacific Rim is proof that the system is broken.

MY OPINION

  1. The Dark Knight
  2. Marvel Cinematic Universe
  3. X-Men
  4. Spider-Man
  5. Hellboy
  6. Superman
  7. Blade
  8. Batman
  9. Fantastic Four
  10. Ghost Rider

OVERALL STANDINGS

(These were calculated by adding points for each standing in each category. 1st Place=10 Points, 2nd Place= 9 Points and so on.)

  1. The Dark Knight-39 Points
  2. Marvel Cinematic Universe-31 Points
  3. Spider-Man-28 Points
  4. X-Men-26 Points
  5. Hellboy-22 Points
  6. Blade-20 Points
  7. Superman-15 Points
  8. Batman-14 Points
  9. Fantastic Four-14 Points
  10. Ghost Rider-6 Points

What have we learned?

First of, I’m pretty sure nobody was doubting that the Dark Knight trilogy  would come in first.

Also, that I don’t know how to adjust movie profits for inflation, so maybe don’t take the “Profits” section too, too seriously.

Also, it can’t be stressed how much movies like Batman & Robin and Superman 4 dragged their respective franchises down. Without those two movies, what we’d have is a couple of solid move franchises.

Well, passable at least.

Coming Soon on Please Kill the Messenger: 

1. The confession of a My Chemical Romance fan.

2. A review of one of Guillermo del Toro’s best movies. (No, it’s not Pacific Rim, but I do need to see that.)

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