All-Star Rosters Revealed! (Part 1)

Well, after two months of debating, complaining and typing death threats in caps lock, MLB.com has finally released the rosters for the 2013 All-Star Game in Citi Field, New York. This promises to be both an interesting game and a way for Mets fans to take a break from being Mets fans (God help them.) and play host to the Midsummer Classic, that grand celebration of baseball, fandom and idiotic popularity contests.

Proof that you can finish in the top 5 in the voting standings by playing a single game in AAA. Why do we not want Yasiel Puig playing, again?

I kid the ASG. I do love watching the game, and it’s really nice to see the (Usually) top players in the game on the same field at the same time. You know, at least until they are caught using steroids and publicly disgraced, but until then, it’s usually a fun ride.

Yeah, there’s no way signing this guy to an inappropriate amount of money would blow up in our faces.

So, initial reaction upon seeing the results? Well, mainly that I’m actually okay with them. Yes, I do have some quibbles, like the exclusion of a certain Mr. Santana…

Well, he HAS played as much big league games as Derek Jeter this season…

and a certain Mr. Lind, I’m pretty satisfied with the teams the two sides are sending to Queens. Here is my review of the AL roster.

Starters
C: Joe Mauer, Twins
1B: Chris Davis, Orioles
2B: Robinson Cano, Yankees
SS: J.J. Hardy, Orioles
3B: Miguel Cabrera, Tigers
OF: Mike Trout, Angels
OF: Adam Jones, Orioles
OF: Jose Bautista, Blue Jays
DH: David Ortiz, Red Sox

I would’ve changed:

2B: Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox

SS: Jhonny Peralta, Tigers

Not to draw the ire of Yankees fans, because I’m sure you’re all beautiful people…

Most of you, I mean.

… but I voted for Dustin Pedroia. It wasn’t an easy decision by any stretch of the imagination, but I can’t really argue with a .325 batting average.  Besides, this Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is irrelevant and retarded. Can’t we all just kiss and make up?

Was that so hard?

I approve of all the other choices with the exception of J.J. Hardy at shortstop. Sure, he’s having a solid season, but a) Jhonny Peralta is having the better season and b) watching someone with an On-Base Percentage under .300 (Hardy’s is .290) is not that fun. Take it from somebody who’s been watching J.P. Arencibia for three years.

Pitchers
RHP: Clay Buchholz , Red Sox
LHP: Brett Cecil, Blue Jays
RHP: Bartolo Colon , A’s
RHP: Jesse Crain , White Sox
RHP: Yu Darvish, Rangers
RHP: Felix Hernandez, Mariners
RHP: Hisashi Iwakuma, Mariners
RHP: Justin Masterson, Indians
RHP: Joe Nathan, Rangers
LHP: Glen Perkins , Twins
RHP: Mariano Rivera, Yankees
LHP: Chris Sale, White Sox
RHP: Max Scherzer, Tigers
RHP: Justin Verlander, Tigers

Note: Bucholz and Crain are both injured and will miss the Game. Perkins and Colon are their replacements.

I would’ve changed:

There is no way in hell I’m gonna comb through every single fucking team comparing pitchers.

I don’t have too much to say in this category, but I’m gonna talk about Brett Cecil a bit.

For those of you who don’t follow the Blue Jays (I know, few and far between, right?) Brett Cecil was a fairly highly touted lefty starting pitcher prospect in our organisation, earning quite a bit of praise at the minor league level. He was called up in 2009 and proceeded to suck at the big league level, posting a 4.79 ERA between 2009 and 2012 with a couple trips back to AAA. That coupled with his incendiary attitude (Think Brett Lawrie but left-handed, wearing goggles and generally less of a douche. (Just kidding. Love you B.L.)) drew the ire of Jays fans, and he only made the roster this year because we needed a lefty and he was out of options.

He was moved to the bullpen and, possibly thanks to the smaller workloads and less pressure, is now, quite possibly, the best reliever in the AL. This brings us to my final remark of the section…

Why the FUCK aren’t the Giants doing this with Tim Lincecum?

Reserves
C: Jason Castro, Astros
C: Salvador Perez, Royals
1B: Prince Fielder, Tigers
2B: Jason Kipnis, Indians
2B: Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox
2B: Ben Zobrist, Rays
SS: Jhonny Peralta: Tigers
3B: Manny Machado, Orioles
OF: Nelson Cruz, Rangers
OF: Alex Gordon, Royals
OF: Torii Hunter, Tigers
DH: Edwin Encarnacion, Blue Jays

I would have changed:

C: Carlos Santana, Indians

1B: Adam Lind, Blue Jays

2B: Howie Kendrick, Angels

This is where I have the most objections. If it wasn’t for the rule of having one representative from each team, the three players I mentioned would have those roster spots down. I would even argue that Adam Lind deserves the spot instead of Prince Fielder, but nobody likes the guy who beats up on a teams “designated teddy bear”, so I won’t bother.

I don’t care how bad Munenori Kawasaki’s hitting is…If you diss him, I will fucking cut you.

(NL Roster coming soon…Veeeery sooon…)

One comment on “All-Star Rosters Revealed! (Part 1)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s